Calvary's Song

Top of 2010, so far.

2010-07-12T18:05:00.000-07:00

I think it is funny that this blog, has somehow become a way of voicing my music taste instead of anything like a life update blog. Anyways... for me, this has been a disappointing year in music. Most of my top albums I was looking forward to have been sub-par, but there has been some good ones. So, with the year half way over, here are my top of 2010, so far (in ABC order).

Beach House: Teen Dream
Damien Jurado: Saint Barlett
Gorillaz: Plastic Beach
Local Natives: Gorilla Manor
Mumfor & Suns: Sign no More
The National: High Violet
The New Pornographers: Together
The Roots: How I Got Over
She & Him: Volume 2
The Tallest Man On Earth: The Wild Hunt

Albums I still need to listen to more.

Delta Spirit: History From Below
Fol Chen: Part II, The New December
Freelance Whales: Weathervanes
LCD Soundsystem: This is Happening
Stars: The Five Ghosts
Tokyo Police Club: Champion

What about you?
What have you been listening to?

Top CD's of 2009

2009-12-28T15:54:00.000-08:00

Top 20 of 2009
1. Animal Collective – Merriweather Post Pavilion
2. mewithoutYou – It’s All Crazy
3. Thrice – Beggars
4. David Bazan – Curse Your Branches
5. Antlers – Hospice
6. Grizzly Bear – Veckatimest
7. Dirty Projectors – Bitte Orca
8. Mos Def – The Ecstatic
9. Noah Jones – The Fall
10. Noah and the Whale – The First Days of Spring

Honorable Mention: Top 11-20 of 2009
11. Passion Pit – Manners
12. Relient K – Forgot and Not Slow Down
13. Port O’Brien - Threadbare
14. Monsters of Folk – Self Titled
15. Rain Machine - Self Titled
16. Krs-One and Buckshot – Survival Skills
17. Old Canes - Feral Harmonic
18. The Dodos – Time To Die
19. Drake – So Far Gone Mixtape
20. Fun. – Aim and Ignite

Top 10 Songs of 2009
1. mewithoutYou - The Beetle on the Cocount Estate
2. Animal Collective - My Girls
3. Animal Collective - What Would I Want? Sky
4. Jay-Z - D.O.A. (Death of Auto Tune)
5. fun. - Be Calm
6. Volcano Choir - Island, IS
7. Dirty Projectors - Stillness is the Move
8. Grizzly Bear - Ready, Able
9. Krs-One and Buckshot - Runnin' Away Ft. Immortal Technique
10. Passion Pit - Little Secrets

Top Ep's of 2009
1. Animal Collective - Fall Be Kind EP
2. O'Brother - The Death of Day
3. Bon Ive- Blood Band EP

Biggest Disappointments of 2009
1. Manchester Orchestra - Mean Everything To Nothing
2. Brand New - Daisy
3. Kings of Convenience - Declaration Of Dependence
4. Jay-Z - Blueprint 3
5. The Most Serence Republic - ....And the Ever Expanding Universe.

Most Looking Forward to of 2010
The National
Sigur Rios
Vampire Weekend
Arcade Fire
Kanye West
Frightened Rabbit
Jónsi Þór Birgisson
Dear and the Headlights
Broken Social Scene
Saves the Day
Feist
Band of Horses

The Last Two Months

2009-11-06T15:49:00.000-08:00

As I sit in my old favorite coffee shop in Glendora I can't help but reflect on the things that have come to pass over the last two and half months. I have moved from Glendora to Moreno Valley, back into my parents house. Out of my parents house to Tustin only a little over two weeks ago. Now I find my self back from where I use to be, sitting in Classic Coffee in Glendora, where this last summer I spent a majority of my time.

My time spent at my parents house was really good. It is what I will refer to over the rest of my life as, "my time of two months rest." As much as I loved living at the 702 house in Glendora, after moving I realized how unhealthy my life style had become, by no other persons fault but my own. Spiritually I was just exhausted and far from where I needed to be in order to best serve others in ministry. Ultimately I think God knew this all along, because on the eve of me moving into my parents house I had somewhat of an spiritual actualization through reading the great Henri Nouwen. Upon reading Nouwen, I decided to enter into a time of spiritual renewal. I spent time alone with God, working out, reading, and a lot of time with family and loved ones in hopes of re-energizing myself. This time was not easy, I realized a lot of things about myself and how I had created some unhealthy habits in my life. At the same time, I am not prefect after this time. I still have a lot of things I have to work through.

About two months after being in Moreno Valley, applying for church jobs the whole time, I finally received a call to join a community in Irvine. At first this job was not my first choice. It was only part-time and while it paid very, very well, it was not my ideal. Little did I know the my ideal was not God's. After many meetings and conversations with the pastoral staff and members of the church I was hooked. While I realized that the community was not prefect in any fashion, what was important and what stood out where the people's hearts. The staff cared more about my heart, my passion, my visions, and my relationship with God and others than if my theology aligned completely with theirs. As the head pastor Jim said to me, "We can talk about theology, but what is important is your heart, no matter how hard you argue you can't change someone's heart."

After receiving the call and taking with friends and family it was clear, as my friend Casey and Sarah told me, "I just need to do this." More than anything, God showed me this was a move I needed to make. Not because it made sense or because it was exactly what I wanted, but because it did not make sense and it wasn't what I exactly wanted. It is in this way that it became clear that God opened this door and I was to walk right in. I knew I needed to find a place to live and another part-time job to help me life but I just had faith that if this is where God wanted me he would provide. A week later I had a great place to live in Tustin with friends of mine, not strangers, and another job where I would make enough money to live with just the right hours.

Now two weeks into the job, it has not been easy. There have been a lot of changes, questions, and struggles in my mind and heart already, but I know that God is there. I have had a peace with connecting to students that I never had at Baseline. During my first Sunday, as I introduced myself to my small church plant of 150, I was calm not nervous. As I sat talking with kids at my new church community who have been really hurt by their past experiences at the church, they where open and really honest for where they were at in life. And even after my first break down with Katie about how am I going to get all the thing done I need to in only 25 hours a week, I am good.

I know that this new place in my life will have its struggles and hardships but looking back I can see the work of God and that gives me comfort. I know I am in a community on the forefront of a lot of change (changing lead pastors, changing denominations, changing community visions) I know that God is present in times of change. In ending I thank you all who read for your support, care, and love; May God bless you can keep you and allow his face to shine upon you as you serve the God of who is working to redeem his creation.

A New Blog

2009-09-15T18:29:00.000-07:00

I am starting a new blog! But don't worry that does not mean that this one will come to an end. My new blog will be focused more about youth culture, things that effect today's families, and ministry. The hope is that this blog will be conversation more than anything, especially since I know I don't have all of the answers just some good ideas and more questions. This blog will be more for personal interaction and updates then for ministry topics or conversation. So I hope you follow my new blog also and still follow this one as well. Blessings to all. Hopefully more posting to come soon as life happens. Until then here is my new blog on Youth Culture and Ministry I hope you enjoy and join in: http://redeemingcreation.blogspot.com/

"The King Beetle On A Coconut Estate"

2009-08-29T12:05:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite bands over the last 5 years has been mewithoutYou. Now only do they make amazing music and put on one of the best live shows I have ever seen in my life, but they are an amazing group of people and those who believe work diligently with the Spirit to manifest the Kingdom of God in the world. One of their songs from the their newest CD "It's call crazy, It's all false, It's all a dream, It's Alright," has been stuck in my mind and I have meditated on it a lot as of late. I wanted to share the words to the song in hopes of you who read finding as much grace, love, and wisdom in the song as I have. Blessings to all.

Track 10: "The King Beetle On A Coconut Estate"

As the Moon rose and the hour grew late, the day help on a Coconut estate raked up the dry leaves that fell dead from the Trees, which they burned in a pile by the lake.
The Beetle King summoned his men, and from the top of the Rhododendron stem: Calling all volunteers who can carry back here, the Great Mystery's been lit once again.
One Beetle emerged from the crowd in a fashionable abdomen shroud, said: I'm a Professor, you see, that's no mystery to me...
I'll be back soon, successful and proud.
But when the Beetle Professor returned he crawled on all six, as his wings had been burned, and described to the finest detail all he'd learned.
There was neither a light nor a heat in his words.
The deeply dissatisfied King climbed the same stem to announce the same thing, but in his second appeal sought to sweeten the deal with a silver Padparadscha ring.
The Lieutenant stepped out from the line as he lassoed his thorax with twine, thinking: I'm stronger and braver and I'll earn the King's favor.
One day all he has will be mine!
But for all the Lieutenant's conceit he, too, returned singed and admitting defeat: I had no choice, please believe, but retreat...
It was bright as the sun, but with ten times the heat!
And it cracked like the thunder and bloodshot my eyes, though smothered with sticks it advanced undeterred.
Carelessly cast an ash cloud to the sky, my Lord, like a flock of dark, vanishing birds.

The Beetle King slammed down his fist: Your flowery description's no better than his!
We sent for the Great Light and you bring us this?
We didn't ask what it seems like, we asked what it IS!
His Majesty's hour at last has drawn nigh!
The elegant Queen took her leave from his side, without understanding but without asking why, gathered their Kids to come bid their goodbyes.
And the father explained: You've been somewhat deceived...
We've all called me your dad, but your True Dad's not me.
I lay next to your mom and your forms were conceived, your Father is the Life within all that you see.
He fills up the ponds as He empties the clouds, holds without hands and He speaks without sounds, provides us with the Cow's waste and coconuts to eat, giving one that nice salt-taste and the other a sweet.
Sends the black carriage the day Death shows its face, thinning our numbers with Kindness and Grace.
And just as a Flower and its Fragrance are one so must each of you and your Father become.
Now distribute my scepter, my crown and my throne and all we've known as 'wealth' to the poor and alone...
Without further hesitation, without looking back home, the King flew headlong into the blazing unknown!
And as the Smoke King curled higher and higher, the troops, flying loops 'round the telephone wires, they said: Our Beloved's not dead, but His Highness instead has been utterly changed into Fire!!!

Why not be utterly changed into Fire?...

Moving: from "loneliness to solitude?"

2009-08-17T16:06:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up at my parents house for the first time in a long time without a predetermined date of leaving. Over the last eight years I have lived in community with others - for the most part - but now I do not. Saturday I moved out of the house I had lived in for four years to move back home to Moreno Valley and into my parents house. The main reason for this move is because it will allow me to save money as I look for a job. While my parents are doing all they can to make this move easy on me, it has still been and will continue to be hard because other than my parents, I do not have any form of community where I now live. All of my close friends over the last eight years live at least a 45 minute drive away from me. On top of this Katie, my love, lives an hour and fifteen minutes away.

As I was packing up my stuff I came across a book a old friend of mine told me to read by one of my favorite authors, Henri J. M. Nouwen. The book is titled, "Reaching Out: The Three Movements of The Spiritual Life." As I started to put the book into the endless box of books something stopped me. I pulled the book from its space between cardboard walls and it's paper back bound friends and placed it on top of a pile of the to be read. Today, as I packed up my bag to go sit at a local coffee shop and read, I grabbed my four current books I am readying. Placing the books in my bag the spirit of God cried out to me within my heart for something new. I looked up to the small group of books I had placed in the "to be read box," which Saturday found their way onto the only small bookshelf I have in my current room. As my eyes panned across the book titles, they landed on "Reaching Out." Somehow I knew this was the one. I grabbed the book, replacing it for another, closed my bag and headed out.

Reaching into my bag, now at the coffee shop, I grabbed Nouwen's book and started to read..."It is far from easy to enter into the painful experience of loneliness. You like to stay away from it..." As I continued to read God began to open my heart to this present time and place I currently found myself in: a time of loneliness. In the first part of Nouwen's book he attempts to move the reader from a place of "loneliness to solitude." Reading through the book I realized that somehow I had become an American consumer cliche, filling my life with stuff such as reading, tv, movies, and even friends never allowing myself to be alone with my thoughts. Somehow in the mist of life I had crowed out my thoughts and forsook solitude for busyness and noise. Even though I swore to myself I hadn't, I had drowned out the silent voice of God with other things. Without me even knowing it, I think God has somehow forced me into this uncomfortable time and place in life. Why? Because I need to be in this time and place during this point of my life...at least that is what it seems like for now.

Community: Beauty in Diversity

2009-08-11T16:28:00.000-07:00

Katie and I had a conversation the other night centered around our quest for community. On the heels of my last blog post and many conversations as of late with good friends, Katie and I have both thirsted more for a purposeful community with others. Even though to be completely honest both us do not feel that we have that right now, especially because in the next week and half we will both be moving home into our parent's houses. So we have decided that we will start taking up some of the practices that we hope our future community will take up. The first practice we are taking up is reading a book together in hopes of stirring up conversation among us that will help to both challenge our current points of view as well as help us grow. The second practice we have taken up is prayer. We hope and believe that this practice will allow us to focus our hearts and minds on God's kingdom purpose in the world and where and what he is calling us both to. Thirdly, we are in the process of seeking a church community that we can serve and worship. While this process is complicated by me looking for a job in youth ministry, we know that God has a place for us.

The goal of all of this is that wherever God might lead us, we might be people who manifest God's Kingdom of grace and love in the world. At the core of all of this conversation is our belief that Christianity is never meant to be done alone, but is meant to be done in community. After all as Christians we are to be a image of our God, who exists in prefect community as the Tri-une God. A community of people offers not only a place where the Kingdom of God can be manifested among a group of people, but a community offers a safe place of individuals to grow in their faith. As Thomas Malcolm writes, "Every person needs on safe place where he or she is able to stop pretending, a place of ruthless honesty and unconditional love where no one is allowed to fly underneath the radar." In this way community can challenge and help those within it to struggle, learn, and grow. This is why I really appreciate the intentional community that my friend Garret is a part of. His community is made up of people who in love can disagree while at the same time love each other.

It has become more evident to me that this is one thing the church in the post-modern world is really struggling with. It seems that somehow people believe that diversity equals the fear of "liberalism" or "heresy," which it does not (understand I am not advocating for a diversity in major theological tenets such as the doctrine of the trinity or who salvation is found in). Recently I was affect by this when I was denied from a church position because I was more open to a diversity of options within church ministry leadership. After being denied I was scared I was alone in my convictions among evangelicals who are not academics. Yet, the other day I was reading "The Jesus of Suburbia" by Mike Erre, pastor of a large church in Orange County. Mike Erre talked about the beauty of theological diversity among his church ministry staff. He said that it allowed for a fuller understanding of who God is. I really appreciated this. After all looking at the Church in the New Testament we can see that not everyone saw eye-to-eye. There were disagreements among Peter and Paul, arguments over what to do about Christian-Non-Jews, as well as other things. At the same time, is not our God diverse and unified in purpose at the same time? Call me liberal, even though I am not, but I think that the beauty of the church is found in a community of people that have a diversity of options. After all how else are we to grow if we all agree on everything?

So with that said, may whatever your community look like may it be a place of trust, a place of diversity, and a place of the beauty of God's worldwide Church.

After a week with good friends...

2009-08-06T16:36:00.000-07:00

Time with good people always leaves me feeling alive and full of hope. Maybe it is the memories we have shared together or the love we share together, but more than that I think it is the power of a community of people sharing life together. Over this last week I have felt as if I have been a part of something more than my normal life offers, life with others. Over the last week I have been in long car rides with 6 other people, shady motels, a joyous wedding, jumping from cliffs, sharing meals, at a house concert, and sleeping a little less. While, yes I have to admit it feels good to have a little time to myself and alone time with Katie, I know life together with others is far better.

It is funny because Katie and I are in a place of what I can only describe as somewhere between getting by and hopelessness. Both of us are on the eve of moving back home into our parents houses because we are both without jobs and therefore without money to pay for a place to live. We want to get married more than anything else in the world, but really have no means to. My pride has kept me from running around and applying for any part-time job that pays minimum wage. In fact tomorrow's task of the day is filing for unemployment.

What has been the craziest thing about these two experiences happening simultaneously is that somehow I have been left hopefull. In a recent conversation with a great musician, Andrea Hamilton, I has reminded of a prophecy, that a women who cared for me more than I probably ever will know, prophesied over me a little over four years ago in Manti, Utah. Without going into to much detail and because I have never been one to hold much claim in these types of things-even though I hope with all of being that this one will be true-the message was one of hope after a time of what can only be called a trial. At the same time, Katie and I have been made very aware this last week of the fact that many who we were around this last week are in similar situations as we are, getting by.

These things have given me hope. As Andrea reminded me the other night many men and women in scripture were called by God but quickly after their calling fell into a time of deep trial (just think of Jesus baptized then lead into the wilderness for 40 days). I can help but think that the reason for this is because they were being shaped by God, becoming stronger in their calling as children of God.

As of now I have no idea what is next for Katie and I, but I have hope. Maybe, I will have to do some tent making, as my brother Garret calls it, for awhile until I find a community where God will call me to serve his church? Maybe, I will never be a full-time youth pastor as I have believed I would be? Who really know, because I don't.

There is though one thing I do know I have hope. I have no idea where Katie and I would be without the people in our life's, those of you who we have spent the last week with and those of you who were not there physically but are spread across the country. This week I was not only given a little more hope in the mist of a lot of worries, but I was again reminded why God calls his people to be in community, but more about that to come...

Theological Notes From "The Brothers Karamazov"

2009-07-25T11:48:00.000-07:00

So my girlfriend is reading a really good but long book called "The Brothers Karamazov" by Fyodor Dostoevsky written from 1879 to 1880. I would love to read the book but being it is about 1100 pages long I don't see that happening anytime soon. But the beauty of having such an amazing girlfriend is that she just reads all the really good parts to me so I don't have to read it myself. Today she read to me a part which we both found very moving and I wanted to share. In this scene a young man (who is later an elder, highly respected monk) receives a mysterious visitor and they begin a theological discussion. The following is an excerpt from one of their conversations:

"I have been thinking myself for a long time, about life being heaven," he told me once. "Indeed I have been thinking of nothing else," he added quickly. "And you know, I'm even more firmly convinced of it than you are, and one day you'll find out why."
As he spoke he looked at me and smiled, and I thought he was about to reveal something to me.
"Heaven is within reach of everyone of us, and now it is within my reach too; if I choose I could have it tomorrow, real heaven, for all my life."
He spoke with fervor and looked at me mysteriously, as if asking something of me.
"As to every man being answerable for everybody and everything, not just for his own sins," he went on, "you are absolutely right about it, and the way you succeeded in grasping that idea so fully, all at once, is really remarkable. Is it true that when men understand that idea, the kingdom of God will no longer be a dream but a reality."
"But when do you expect that to happen?" I cried bitterly. "When will it come about, if ever? Perhaps it's just a dream and nothing more."
"So you don't believe yourself," he answered, "in the things you preach to others. Let me tell you, then, that this dream, as you call it, will most certainly come true. You may rest assured of that, but it will not happen immediately, because everything that happens in this world is controlled by its own set of laws. In this case, it is a psychological matter, a state of mind. In order to change the world, man's way of thinking must be changed. Thus there can be no brotherhood of men before all men become each other's brothers. There is no science, no order based on the pursuit of material gain, that will enable men to share their goods fairly and to respect each other's rights. There will never be enough to satisfy everyone; men will always be envious of their neighbors and will always destroy one another. So to your question when heaven on earth will come about, I can only promise you that it will come about without fail, but first the period of man's isolation must come to an end."
"What isolation?" I asked him.
"The isolation that you find everywhere, particularly in our age. But it won't come to an end right now, because the time has not yet come. Today everyone asserts his own personality and strives to live a full life as an individual. But these efforts lead not to a full life but to suicide, because, instead of realizing his personality, man only slips into total isolation. For in our age mankind has been broken up into self-contained individuals, each of whom retreats into his lair, trying to stay away from the rest, hiding himself from people and people from him. And, while he accumulates material wealth in his isolation, he thinks with satisfaction how mighty and secure he has become, because he is mad and cannot see that the more goods he accumulates, the deeper he sinks into suicidal impotence. The reason for this is that he has become accustomed to relying only on himself; he has split off from the whole and become an isolated unit; he has trained his soul not to rely on human help, not to believe in men and mankind, and only to worry that the wealth and privileges he has accumulated may get lost. Everywhere men today are turning scornfully away from the truth that the security of the individual cannot be achieved by his isolated efforts but only by mankind as a whole.
"But an end to this fearful isolation is bound to come and all men will understand how unnatural it was for them to have isolated themselves from one another. This will be the spirit of the new era and people will look back in amazement at the past, when they sat in darkness and refused to see the light. And it is then that the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the heavens...But until that day we must keep hope alive, and now then a man must set an example, if only an isolated one, by trying to life his soul out of its isolation and offering it in an act of brotherly communion, even if he is taken for one of God's fools. This is necessary, to keep the great idea alive."

Reading is Fun

2009-07-06T17:23:00.000-07:00

Being out of school now for 3 weeks I have been spending some good time sitting at my favorite local coffee shop and reading. Upon entering grad school I had more of a love hate relationship with reading, meaning I loved what I learned and got from reading but hated the process of reading (mostly because of my dyslexia). After four years of grad school and reading thousands upon thousands of pages I now not only read better (I guess practice does help?) but I love it! Reading has become my way of relaxing. With that said, I thought I would just post what I am currently reading and see if anyone out there had any suggestions.

"An Emergent Manifesto of Hope" edited by Doug Pagitt & Tony Jones
"The Last Battle" by C.s. Lewis
"The irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical" by Shane Claiborne
"The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals" by Michael Pollan

I know my current reading list is varied and many, but during grad school I learned to be reading multiple books at one time and stay on track with all of them. I even like it this way because it allows me to read according to my mood (look mom I am even a consumer in my reading process!). Any suggestions for future reads?

Top CD's of 2009, so far...

2009-06-18T15:11:00.000-07:00

Since it is the middle of the year it is time for my top CD's of 2009, so far. These are not in any order

.
CD's still looking forward to...
Brand New
Thrice
Regina Spektor
Kings of Convenience
fun
Destry
Jay-Z

To those whom I call friends

2009-06-17T14:50:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I graduated from my Masters program. As I sat there in the audience of mostly people I had never met before (since I did not live on campus I usually just went to Fuller for class and then took off afterward) I felt a sense of both completion and fear. For the first time in my life I would not be in school. While I enjoyed this fact I was still faced with the fear of what-is-next...once again. Yesterday, I had a job interview out in Riverside, CA for a youth job. After the interview, as I sat in the car as my sister drove Katie and I to a local record store, I could not help but look out the window an think to myself...might I be moving back to Riverside?
For those of you who do not know, I grew up in Riverside. For nineteen years of my life I called Riverside my home. Once I left I never thought I would ever be back there. While yes my parents and family are out there and it would be nice to be in a place that we know at least someone, both Katie and I have admitted to each other that Riverside is not our first choice and we are telling ourselves that we can just move there for a little while (3 to 5 years) and then move elsewhere. Yet, I think the main reason that I don't want to move back to Riverside is because those who we call "friends" are not there.
In the book "An Emergent Manifesto of Hope" Doug Pagitt defines friendship as "vulnerability, risk, struggle, and pain." When I think of those four terms there is a small group of people in this large world that come to mind (you know who you are). Yet, I think the thing that scares me the most is what Pagitt goes on to say, "there is a realization that we need to pursue this friendship not as an addition to faith but as a necessity of it."
You see that thing I am truly scared about is moving to wherever both Katie and I end up, whether it be Riverside, Menlo Park, or San Diego is not having people around who love both Katie and I and see us as true friends. Friends who make it a point to call you just to see how you are doing. Friends who when you are with them it feels like you never were apart. Friends who you let see your good and bad. Friends who you can both cuss with and pray with.
Now I know that friendships will develop over time and there are those I can always count on, but there is something to be said about those people who you have lived life with. Who you don't have to explain everything to because they just know.
I have no idea how else to end this but to say thank you to all who read...I love you

Am I a hipster?

2009-05-31T14:52:00.000-07:00

As I sit in my living room wishing to be in my favorite local coffee shop, but can't be because it is Sunday and they are closed by 3pm, listening to the new Grizzly Bear record in my white ipod ear muffs, I can't help but feel a part of a emerging culture I never thought I was a part of in the first place. Last night a friend of mine, Danny who is married to my friend Stephanie Joy, approached me excited to see me and tell me about their new condo purchase in the Mission District in San Fran. After explaining their condo he stated, "you would love it there since you are a hipster, everyone looks like you there man."
After spending much of last week somewhere between 4th and 3rd street in Long Beach (a hipster gathering ground) I couldn't help but think to myself, this must be some crazy irony, I am in no way a hipster. Sadly though to quote someone who feels like a dear friend of mine, yet who I am only connect to through a glowing box, Phoebe, "Thats like the pervert modo. Yea...you put one hand on your heart and the other in your pants and you recite that." Just stating "I am not a hipster" makes me feel even more like one, as I recite my practiced phrase with a hand on my heart while wearing a V-neck American Apparel Shirt, hovering over my new MacBook, listening to the new Indie Rock band that has vomited out another album, which I will like but not like.
I am not sure how or when I became a part of a movement which I had no idea I was a part of? Maybe it was during my week with Garret in Boulder, CO in late September? Maybe it was when I started questioning my daily trips to Starbucks? Or, maybe it was when I purchased my first V-neck shirt? I guess I will never know...but one think I can hope for is that in admitting it maybe it will help me get over this problem I never wish, I never knew I had. So here it goes...My name is Steven and I am a indie-coffee-shop-dive-bar-loving-V-neck-wearing-indie-rock-listening-wish-I-road-a-bike-MacBook-typing-hipster. WTF?
For more hipster love and info check our this amazing article on Hipster culture in adbusters: http://www.adbusters.org/magazine/79/hipster.html

In 28 days...

2009-05-16T16:46:00.000-07:00

In 28 short days the world will probably not be devoured by zombies, but I will be done with my masters degree! On June 13th I will walk. Yesterday I finished my last mid-term period of my masters degree and now only have a few assignments to get through till I finals week. Luckily because I am in my last quarter I only have one paper to worry about during that week, so it should be pretty easy compared to past finals weeks. It has been a long four years working away at another degree. I think the thing I am most excited about it not being in school! I have been in school since I started as a child in kindergarten, which comes out to something like 24 strait years (I repeated 5th grade bc. of my dyslexia). I am looking forward to reading for fun, doing nothing, hanging out with friends and my girlfriend, getting a full-time job, and I might even take up a hobby again (somehow college and my masters program stole my hobby of surfing away from me). I don't know what it is but lately I have been feeling that God is going to be doing something through me. I am not sure if this is just being in full-time ministry or something I do not really expect but I know that something in on the move. I am just praying it lets me pay off all of my loans from school. Hopefully I will be updating my blog as things unfold, but until then I love you all who read and care for me. Know you are also loved.

Sadening Stats that Should Not Come as a Surprise

2009-04-21T16:40:00.000-07:00

Katie was reading through one of her teaching books and came across these stats. As much as I have studied youth culture and church culture over the last four years I cannot help but become sad when I hear stats such as these.

- The Average Child receives 12 minutes of attention each day from his or her parents

- By age 18, most American have spend more time in front of the television than they have with friends or parents

- The average adolescent spends more then three hours alone everyday

- Loneliness is the number one problem of the elderly, many of who are afraid to venture out of their homes or apartments.

Wong, Harry K. and Rosemary T. Wong, "How to Be an Effective Teacher: The First Days of School" Harry K. Wong Publications 2005, pg. 76

The sad part is that these stats are no different within the usual Christian family. It is no wonder that our teenagers are leaving the church in droves after high school and our elderly are held up within dying churches or elderly homes. I guess by the time that most adults have grown up they have completely bought into a consumerist culture which convinces them that their wants and desires should be at the center of all of their choices, leaving their children and parents to care for themselves.

What is Normal but a Setting on a Wash Machine?

2009-04-18T16:26:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about how many of us get comfortable with the way things are. Many of us do not like change at all. For instance, about a month ago a new coffee shop in the Glendora area closed its doors. This coffee shop had become a home away from home for me. I knew almost every employee by name and I had many good spiritual conversations with the owner. Sadly, the coffee shop had to close its door because a lack of funds. This news made me really sad, not only for the owner and his employees, but for myself. I had gotten into such a routine and when I was forced to change that routine I became uncomfortable.
I think many of us are like me, we get use to going through our daily life becoming more and more comfortable with our routines and the normalcy we see around us. We almost never take the time to raise questions concerning our routines and the normalcy around us, we just accept it for what it is.
The musician Conor Oberst has a song called, "I must belong somewhere." The song raises questions about normalcy. Oberst sings, "Everything it must belong somewhere, they locked the devil in the basement and threw god up into the air, yea everything must belong somewhere..." Obsert seems to be asking if everything, even himself, are where they belong and as they should be.
Reading through the gospels I cannot help but notice that during Jesus' ministry he never really stays in one place for very long. It makes me wonder if he did this to avoid normalcy to avoid life become to routine. Instead it seems that Jesus fought against everything that seemed normal, routine, and just the way things are. I mean the man walks into the temple and just goes nuts! He turns over tables, kicks people out and questions the way things were during his time.
I have to wonder if during all of life's normalcy, somehow I have allowed my life to become clogged up by money changers and sellers? Maybe I have failed to take the time and question what has become so normal to me? Maybe I have allowed my life to become to much of a routine that somehow I have missed the beauty lost in every moment? I even wonder if the Church, like myself has become like this?
You see, I think we all need times where we turn over some tables, whether it be in our own life or even in the Church itself. I think we all should fight against what seems normal and start asking questions. Why is this, this way? Is this right? How did things get this way?
May we all start raising questions about what seems normal. May we all turn over some tables. May we all begin to be uncomfortable. May we all begin to question what seems to belong. All in hopes of growing, hearing, and being as God has called us to be at that moment, until we let another one pass us by in the midst of our routine.

Life update: Moving from Winter into Spring

2009-04-16T15:49:00.000-07:00

It has almost been a good three months since I have written a blog. Much of the reason for that is that during much of January through late March I was bogged down by homework from school. Last, quarter was for sure the hardest quarter of my school life. Not only was Hebrew really hard for me to learn, but I lost my job in December, and was going through some random medical stuff that turned out to be really nothing. After tests and multiple visits to the doctors it turns out I have Vitiligo, which is a disease that causes your skin to loss its pigmentation. Luckly, I am so fair skinned that I have had the disease for years now and never realized it!
Now that is all over and I am into a new quarter life has begun to feel much less stressful. I am in my last quarter at Fuller Theological Seminary, only taking 6 units (12 units are full-time, so I am basically half-time), and I am looking forward to moving on with my life. Yet, with this movement also comes change. For the first time in my life I am looking for a full-time job. I pray--and hope you pray with me--that I will find a job in youth ministry, which I have been studying for over the last four years. Sadly though because the economy is so bad everywhere right now, churches are not really hiring as much. On top of that many churches are cutting jobs so many more people are out there looking and applying for the same few jobs that their are. I have really worried that I will be stuck at a nine to five office job where I will hate every minute of my life more than anything. Please, please be in prayer for me about this!
At the same time, as I stated above, this movement brings about change not only in having to get a job, but in possibly changing locations. I need to stay in California--sorry all those out in Utah and CO land--because my longtime girlfriend Katie is getting her California teaching credential. Both Katie and I have also come to love this area of California and the good friends and family we have here. So that hope is that we will stay in the Glendora/Pasadena area, but we will have to wait and see.
As April comes to an end and May starts I will move into my sixth week of my final quarter at Fuller and life will continue you change. Here's to trying to put it all in God's hands.
Blessings to all, as you are a blessing to many.

Inaguration: Some Thoughts

2009-01-20T19:35:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke to the sounds of the inauguration of our 44th President of the United States. I couldn't help but be reminded of September 11th 2001 when similarly I was awoken by the sounds of TV new noise. It is crazy to think about that day in light of today. It has been a long 7 1/2 years since that day in September. There is probably no other day in the United States history that will define our past President, George W. Bush then that day and what followed after it. With that thought I had to think to myself, what will define our new President Obama? Maybe, the color of his skin, as our first black President? Maybe, the way he brought a country together in a time or economic crises? Maybe, it will be how he never lived up to the expectations? At this point in time we will never know.
Yet, as I sat, watched, and listened to the inauguration of our new President I could not hope but be filled with optimism and pride for our country. Those of you who know me well know that I am not what I would call a patriot, believing that I belong to a kingdom greater this one, yet I was proud. Not only did the people of this nation elect a black man, but I believe this nation took a step toward bettering itself. There is no doubt on my mind that as Rich Warren said, "Martin Luther King and all other saints" looked down on Washington D.C. and were proud of the people of our country today. It was amazing for me to watch and see, listen and hear the voices of a long time oppressed people rejoice with pride. But with this in mind let us not forget, there is still a great number or black, Latino/a, Asian, Middle Eastern, Native Americans, and women who will face oppression under a country still run by white males. Today, yes, we have taken a step in the right direction, but our fight against racism is not over.
At the same time let me ecko a wise elder black man I heard on NPR tonight, "Obama will mess up, after all he is not the Messiah." Amen, my brother. As members of another kingdom let us remember that Jesus Christ is our first and only Lord, not a nation or a President.
No matter what happens during these next four years, no matter how President Obama is remember let us remember this, we are childern of the most high God and we are first of all called to a kingdom of love. I end with the a part of the prayer from Joseph Lowery:

"And now, Lord, in the complex arena of human relations, help us to make choices on the side of love, not hate, on the side of inclusion, not exclusion, tolerance, not intolerance.

And as we leave this mountaintop, help us to hold on to the spirit of fellowship and the oneness of our family. Let us take that power back to our homes, our workplaces, our churches, our temples, our mosques, or wherever we seek your will.

Bless President Barack, First Lady Michelle. Look over our little angelic Sasha and Malia.

We go now to walk together, children, pledging that we won’t get weary in the difficult days ahead. We know you will not leave us alone, with your hands of power and your heart of love.

Help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nation shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid; when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream. (from Amos 5:24)

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around — (laughter) — when yellow will be mellow — (laughter) — when the red man can get ahead, man — (laughter) — and when white will embrace what is right.

Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen."

May we see the kingdom of him who's name is our breath.

For another great blog on today's inaugration check out Garret's words

My first Published Article

2009-01-06T13:50:00.001-08:00

I have say that I am excited, today, January 6th, 2009, my first published article came out. The article is on Time Management is entitled "Time Flies Organizing Your Schedule for Optimum Results." You can find it at http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/2009/01/time-flies/. Let me know what you think!

The Top CD's of 2008 and more...

2009-01-04T22:49:00.000-08:00

A new year always makes me excited. As many of you know I am a lover of music, so the coming of a new year means tons of new music. Yet, a new year also means the closing of a year in music. This year in music was a little disappointing for me. Format, one of my favorite bands, announced that they were breaking up, Manchester Orchestra put off their new release, and there wasn't really the battle for the #1 spot I hoped for. Despite this, there were many CD's who did impress me, spoke to my soul, calmed my heart, and were over-all beautiful representations of an art form I love. In four short lists here are my top 20 of 2008, my top 20 songs of 2008, my top 10 most disappointing of 2008, and my most looked forward to in 2009.

Top 20 of 2008
1. Sigur Rós - Með Suð Í Eyrum Við Spilum Endalaust
- Sigur Rós does it again! One of their most approachable LP’s Nothing even came close to this album this year.
2. The Roots – Rising Down
- The Roots are the best Hip-Hop artists around. This album struggles through social issues as well as brings sweet beats and fun to the party.
3. TV on the Radio – Dear Science
- I was a little late in falling in love with this album, but once I did I could not stop listening to it. This band never ceases to amaze me.
4. Bon Iver – For Emma, Forever Ago
- My top new band of 2008 for sure. This album just brings the emotion and heart in such a raw yet simplistic way.
5. Fleeting Foxes – Self-Titled
- Alt-Folk at its top. The hype is true, one of the most critical acclaimed albums of the year, as it should be.
6. Dear and the Headligths – Drunk Like Bible Times
- I just love where they took their music after their 2007 release, Small Steps, Heavy Hooves, Ian’s lyrics and voice is just memorizing ever time.
7. Ra Ra Riot – The Rhumb Line
- Just a solid band. Moves in the realm of Acadia Fire, but at the same time brings something different to the table of indie rock.
8. Jenny Lewis – Acid Tongue
- Jenny Lewis is one of my favorite artists, she is not only beautiful but produces beautifully raw music.
9. Anathallo – Canopy Glow
- Concept albums are always hit and miss for me, but this one was definitely a hit. Not only does this band make good art but it makes good Christian art, something that is hard to find now-a-days.
10. The Dodos – Visitor
- I have never heard an acoustic rock band that rocked so hard as this band does. They push the boundaries of acoustic rock into new places.
11. Dr. Dog – Fate
- In the realm of Alt-Folk, Fate was a real favorite of 2008. It only drifted down the line as 2008 went on because of the level of other albums. Solid album with great flow, mix, vocals. This is the best album this band has put out.
12. Vampire Weekend – Self-Titled
- I have learned that people either love or hate this band. I have gotten in many arguments trying to convince people how great this band and album is. One thing that all people can agree about is that they are unique and that there is no one doing what they are.
13. Kanye West – 808’s and Heartbreak
- Looks like heartbreak does breed great music, this album continues to blow me away as Kanye West pushs himself into a new places on this album. Simply put is good art.
14. Conor Oberst – Self-Titled
- In a Dylon-esk style Conor Oberst produces his first solo album with a new group of people around him. This album is not much of a denature from his band Bright Eyes, but some how Oberst’s friends from south of the boarder bring out something new and refreshing with him.
15. Annuals – Such Fun
- When I first heard this album I had not idea what to think of it. It was as if someone had given a top indie rock band a pop-rock speed infused shot during the recording process. After listening to it over and over again I just fell in love with this album’s pop-antics
16. Department of Eagles – In Ear Park
- I looked for this album forever and once I found it I quickly also found my new favorite study LP. Soon the LP found its way into my car and further into my daily life. I continue to be wowed by this album.
17. Death Cab for Cutie – Narrow Stairs
- This was one of those albums you fall in love with when you first purchase it but after awhile you only go back to it when the comfort of a good album for a good band is needed.
18. Broken Social Scene presents Bending Canning – Something for All of Us…
- Broken Social Scene is one of my favorite bands, this LP has its peaks and plains for me, but is still a solid effort from a great group of artists.
19. Copeland – You Are My Sunshine
- I did not really know what to expect from Copeland’s next album, sadly I wished they would have had a little more punch to this album, but this album still brings me peace and comfort in a way no other album or band can produce. Also a great group of Christian artists who are pushing the boundaries of art.
20. Bloc Party – Intimacy
- Bouncing back from one of the biggest let downs of 2007, Bloc Party brings it back with a great album. Sadly, the album starts to drag for me at the end so that is why it finds itself at the back end of my top 20

Top Ten Songs of 2008
1. Rising Down (Feat. Mos Def. and Styles P) – The Roots – Rising Down
2. Inní Mér Syngur Vitleysingur - Sigur Rós - Með Suð Í Eyrum Við Spilum Endalaust
3. The Next Messiah – Jenny Lewis – Acid Tongque
4. Dancing Choose – TV on the Radio - Dear Science
5. Joe's Waltz – The Dodos - Visiter
6. I Know – Dear And The Headlights – Drunk Like Bible Times
7. Ghost Under Rocks – Ra Ra Riot – The Rhumb Line
8. White Winter Hymnal – Fleet Foxes
9. Not So Tough Found Out – Copeland – You Are My Sunshine
10. Swagga Like Us (Feat. Kanye West, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne) – T.I. – Paper Trail
11. Hair Don’t Grow – Annuals – Such Fun
12. Come All You Weary – Thrice – The Alchemy Index: Vol. $ Earth
13. Heartless – Kanye West – 808’s And Heartbreak
14. My Life (Feat. Lil Wayne) – The Game – LAX
15. Re: Stacks – Bon Iver – For Emma, Forever Ago
16. Italo – Anathallo – Canopy Glow
17. The Ark – Dr. Dog – Fate
18. Mercury – Bloc Party – Intimacy
19. Antique Bull – Broken Social Scene presents Brendan Canning = Something for All of Us…
20. The Fox – Nada Surf – Lucky

Greatest Disappointments of 2008
1. Ben Folds – Way To Normal
- The only question that comes to my mind when I make myself listen to this album is, Why? I know this is Ben Folds’ album in response to his recent divorce, but it is just a bad, angry, and sad piece of music.
2. Common – Universal Mind Control
- I do not know if Pharrell’s handy work on this album influenced Common, but the more I hear about and from Pharrell, the more I realize that while he can process killer beats he never should have been given a voice. While this albums beats are good, the lyrics are so bad it makes me want to find Common and slap him in the face in order to try to wake him up from this nightmare of an album. Basically this album amounts to nothing more than bad club rap about sex and nothingness, as Common seems to be again struggling to find his MC identity. How you have fallen so far Common.
3. The Faint – Fasciinatiion
- No only is the spelling of this albums’ title bad, but so is everything else. The Faint just lost it on this one.
4. Tokyo Police Club – Elephant Shell
- I loved it when this album first came out but then when sitting and talking to a friend about it, he pointed out how bad vocals were. Now when I listen to it, all I hear is a bad singer over good music.
5. Panic At the Disco – Pretty. Odd.
- I have a great idea! Lets put out an album that sounds so much like the Beatles it puts every other copy-cat band to shame…oh, Panic At the Disco already did that…
6. She & Him – Volume One
- One would think that a Zooey Deschanel, who has a great voice, and M. Ward, a great musician, would produce a amazing album but sadly while this album is not bad it is not that good either. At times Deschanel's voice sounds sub-par and M. Ward's guitar work is just bland. There are others that would disagree with me, ie. Paste Magazine who rated this album as their #1 of 2008, so...
7. Thrice – The Alchemy Index: Vol. 3 & 4: Earth and Wind
- When Thrice set out to record what became known as The Alchemy Index I was a little fearful. It is true that Thrice is not the same band they were just 4 years ago, which is a good thing. The bad thing is that some how they mostly just became boring and inventive rock. There are only really 3 good songs on this two EP's equal one LP and one really good song, which yes did make it on my top 20 songs of 2008 list, but sadly that’s all this LP had to offer.
8. Augustana – Can’t Love, Can’t Hurt
- I liked their last record, even thought it was nothing special, but I hoped they would grow but this one just became boring radio rock after a few listens.
9. Cold War Kids – Loyalty to Loyalty
- Over-all this is not a bad album, but the recording was just so poor it killed the album.
10. Wolf Parade – At Mount Zoomer
- I have never been a huge fan of Wolf Parade but I did enjoy their last LP and I really like Hansom Furs, the lead singers side project. Sadly this album, even though I tried really hard, I never got into it.

Most Looking forward to for 2009
- Manchester Orchestra
- mewithoutYou
- Bon Iver
- Fun
- Destry
- Brand New
- Kanye West
- Jay – Z
- Band of Horses
- Arcade Fire

A Christmas Season reflection

2008-12-28T17:12:00.000-08:00

It makes me a little sad that the Christmas season has come to an end. This year was, so far, the busiest December of my life. Maybe it was the late Thanksgiving or something but everything was so packed in. The first two weeks of December included finishing up my fall semester at Fuller, which included preaching twice, a paper on "My Life" by The Game, and a paper on the show Gossip Girl. It was a little sad to think that this would be my last Fall semester at Fuller in my life, but at the same time it felt really good to almost be done after 3 long years. This next Winter and Spring quarters will be my last at Fuller. Of course I have saved my hardest classes until the last few quarters. I will be taking a Hebrew intensive and Systematic Theology: Eccesiology and Eschatology. In the Spring I will take my last class, Old Testament Exegesis: Isaiah (Hebrew text).
To top off my paper load, I attended nine different Christmas gatherings/parties from December 1st to the 21st! It was really good to spend time with people I care for but after 3 weeks of parties one gets quiet tired. I guess being in leadership at a church equates many Christmas parties. My favorite party by far was our annual friend Christmas party. This year it was a the house I live in, in Glendora. The Christmas party is always my favorite party of the year at the house because it is the most low key. No one gets to crazy and for the most part it is just fun people, good conversations, and good times.
This Christmas was also the first time that Katie and I did the duel family Christmas thing. I spent Christmas Eve with her family in Arcadia, going to her families Church and eating tamales. The next morning I celebrated with Katie and her family their usual Christmas morning of opening presents and homemade cinnamon rolls. Around 11 am, Katie and I took off to my parents house in Riverside. Driving in rain it took us about an hour and fifteen minutes to get to my parents house. When we arrived we showered and got ready for the day. As is the usual Johnson family tradition, we watched the Lakers kick the Celtics butt! (Go Lakers!) When my sister and her husband arrived we paused the Lakers game (thank God for pausing live TV) and opened our families' Christmas presents. After Christmas presents were open Katie's family arrived at my parent's house. Quickly after they arrived, as well as other family members, we sat down for a Christmas dinner. My aunt makes the best rolls ever, and I ate way to much, but hey...what else are the holidays for but stuffing are already fat faces with more food? After dinner the family mingled and did a white elephant gift exchange, I got the In and Out gift card, always a good steal. After hanging out for a while everyone left leaving my parents, sister, her husband, Katie, and I to just hang out.
Over-all, this Christmas season was great! I was pleasantly surprised how well Christmas day went with all of the driving and families connecting for the first time on a major holiday. If I could change one thing I would try to be more intentional with some of my time during the Christmas season. Last year I got to help service a little in East L.A. but this year things got away from me and I did not make a point to service anywhere during this season. I also wish that our family could spend some time reflecting on the Christmas story together. I think that would be time well spent.
I hope you all had a great Christmas! Blessings to all!

Random...but be back soon, meaning after my final papers are done

2008-12-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

I am sitting debating if I should start the next section of my paper on Talking to Adolescents about sex using the show Gossip Girl or if I should just kill time posting a new blog, since I haven't posted on this thing forever. You can guess which one I chose. Being the Christmas season I have already been to two Christmas parties and still have six to go! I know I am very popular. Actually, working at a church also seems to require attendance at multiple Christmas parties. The one I am looking forward to the most is coming up this Friday, when my house will have it's yearly Christmas Party. This is always my favorite because not only do we have great food, thanks to Jackson Stava, and some great wine, but it is a great time of just hanging out with some really good people. I am sad that some of my good friends, Geoff and Kyle, will not be in attendance this year but it will still be great!
On a total unrelated note...I have been listening to some a lot of music lately and I started thinking about my favorite bands of all time. Now, to set some qualifications on this group, first they have to be a band not just an artist. Second, they have to have put out at least 3 LPs. Thats all the qualifications so here you go...my top 5 bands of all time, as of now.

1. mewithoutYou
2. Sigus Ros
3. Brand New
4. The National
5.Broken Social Scene

Runs-up
Death Cab for Cutie
The Roots
Copeland
Appleseed Cast
Thrice

On the Eve of the Election

2008-11-03T22:40:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow will be a day that will go down in the history of U.S.A. Whether Obama or McCain are crowd the king of United States there will be history made. We will either see the first Black President in the history of the United States or we will see the first women Vice-President. For most of you reading it is not hard for you to discern who I have chosen to vote for, but let me assure you that no matter what happens tomorrow there is one thing that is for sure, we will be let down. You see, when 2008 comes to an end and 2009 approaches, a new king of the U.S. of A will be crowned. Yet, they will be nothing less than human and this country will still be nothing less than a kingdom of this world.
As Christians, let me encourage you brothers and sisters of the Father in heaven, that we belong to a Kingdom that has now here but not yet. You see, while tomorrow morning I will cast my vote for the next president of the U.S., by doing so I will not be placing my hope in a person who will bring about the "Change" that is needed in this world, I will simply take advantage of a voice that I have been given to elect a person to an office who I hope will make less bad decisions then the other candidate.
As the Church, the body of our Lord Jesus Christ, we are to be that community and people that bring about change. While, as citizens of the U.S. we are given the right to vote, as Christians we are called not to put our hope and anyone else but our Lord. We are call not to pledge our life’s to a kingdom of this world. We are not called to give our life's to anything but to the Kingdom of Heaven.
While many of my family and friends over the last few months have argued with me about which candidate is better of this country, which person will bring about the change we need, I have to stand and say, sorry no person will ever bring about the change we need. You see, that change we need in this country and world can only come from the Spirit of God at work in the community of Christ.
Therefore, as the votes come in tomorrow night, and the hopes of some rise, while others fall, may you know that trusting in a kingdom of this world is nothing but idolatry and chasing after the wind. May you instead trust in the Spirit of the Lord who is a work among us. May you open your eyes and see the kingdom at work among us. May you stand for those who are being oppressed. May you open your ears to hear the cries of the needy. May you use your hands more than your mouths. May the body of Christ be the change and hope we need in this country and world. And may the God who created and redeemed us be gloried in the work of his people. Amen.

Are We Ready?

2008-11-03T22:20:00.000-08:00

I will not ask the question because but I will let Tupac and Nas ask the question for me.

Black President Lyrics

[Intro: Obama]
They said this day would never come.
They said our sights were set too high.
They said this country was too divided;
too disillusioned to ever come together around a common purpose.
They Said, They Said . . .

[Hook (2x): Tupac]
And though it seems heaven sent,
we ain't ready to see a black President
And though it seems heaven sent,
we ain't ready to see a black President

Yes We Can ... Change the World (Change the World )
(They Said!)

[Verse 1: Nas]
They forgot us on the block
Got us in the box
Solitary confinement
How violent are these cops?
They need an early retirement
How many rallies will I watch?
I ain't got it in me to march
I got a semi to spark
The game's in a drought

Public housing, projects
Cooking up in the Pyrex
My set, my click
Either getting money
Or running from homicide trial
That's if they ain't died yet

Trying to be rich
Still I'm pledging allegiance
A predicate felon, a ghetto leader
Lending my poetical genius
To whoever may need it
I bleed this from Queensbridge
Now living with my feet up
Never defeated
So a president's needed
Y'know these colored folks and Negroes
Hate to see one of their own succeeding
America, surprised us
And let a black man guide us

[Hook (2x): Tupac]
And though it seems heaven sent,
we ain't ready to see a black President
And though it seems heaven sent,
we ain't ready to see a black President

Yes We Can ... Change the World (Change the World )
(They Said!)

What’s the black pres. thinkin’ on election night
Is it how can I protect my life?
Protect my wife?
Protect my rights?
Every other president was nothin' less than white
Except Thomas Jefferson and mixed Indian blood
and Calvin coolers
KKK is like 'what the fuck', loadin' they guns up
loadin' mine too, Ready to ride
Cause im ridin with my crew
He dies - we die too
But on a positive side,
I think Obama provides Hope - and challenges minds
Of all races and colors to erase the hate
And try and love one another, so many political snakes
We in need of a break
Im thinkin' I can trust this brotha
But will he keep it way real?
Every innocent n!gga in jail - gets out on appeal
When he wins - will he really care still?
I feel . . .

[Hook (2x): Tupac]
And though it seems heaven sent,
we ain't ready to see a black President
And though it seems heaven sent,
we ain't ready to see a black President

Yes We Can ... Change the World (Change the World )
(They Said!)

Say a prayer for "do we have to?"
You ain't right, Jeremiah Wrong pastor
In love with a slave master
Sincerely yours:
USA most brave rapper
Jesse car-jacker
Uncle Tom-kidnapper
Ask around
Bentley Coupe off the Richter
B!tch-called-life, I pimped her
What?
Politics, politricks
Klan-shooter
Deacon for defense
Progress-producer
Nothing on the stove
A survival-booster

Gotta do what we gotta do
We ain't got no governors coming through - to help
anything we need done, we gotta do for self

New-improved JFK on the way
It ain't the 60's again
N!ggas ain't hippies again
We ain't falling for the same traps
Standing on the balconies
Where they shot the King at
McCain got apologies
Ain't nobody hearing that
People need honesty

[Hook (2x): Tupac]
And though it seems heaven sent,
we ain't ready to see a black President
And though it seems heaven sent,
we ain't ready to see a black President

Yes We Can ... Change the World (Change the World )
(They Said!)

[Outro]
It is my distinct honor and privilege to introduce the next President of the United States:
Barack Obama.
(Applause)

Reflection Based on 2Pac

2008-10-27T20:14:00.001-07:00

If the conservative church in the U.S. wants to fight so hard to end abortion why doesn't the conservative church want to fight one of the things that creates the need for abortion: poverty? Top down economics will never work. As my professor Ralph Waltins said the other day, "The people in the ghetto's are still waiting" for Regan-nomic's to trick down. Remember when you are voting this election that MaCain still buys the lies of Regan-nomics. Top down economics is a lie and has never worked for those who are poor and it will never work. Jesus fought for those who were in poverty and in need. Ask yourself the question, would Jesus support top down economics?

Reflect on Tupac's song and sit and think about how the church in the U.S. needs to respond:
Lyrics to Brenda's Got A Baby :
Brenda's got a Baby
Brenda's got a Baby

I hear Brenda's got a baby
Well, Brenda's barely got a brain
A damn shame
Tha girl can hardly spell her name
(That's not her problem, that's up ta Brenda's family)
Well let me show ya how it affects tha whole community
Now Brenda never really knew her moms and her dad was a
junky
Went in debt to his arms, it's sad
Cause I bet Brenda doesn't even know
Just cause your in tha ghetto doesn't mean ya can't grow
But oh, that's a thought, my own revelation
Do whatever it takes ta resist tha temptation
Brenda got herself a boyfriend
Her boyfriend was her cousin, now lets watch tha joy end
She tried to hide her pregnancy, from her family
Who didn't really care to see, or give a damn if she
Went out and had a church of kids
As long as when tha check came they got first dibs
Now Brendas belly is gettin bigger
But no one seems ta notice any change in her figure
She's 12 years old and she's having a baby
In love with tha molester, whos sexed and crazy
And yet she thinks that he'll be with her forever
And dreams of a world with tha two of them are together,
whatever
He left her and she had tha baby solo, she had it on tha
bathroom floor
And didn't know so, she didn't know, what ta throw away and
what ta keep
She wrapped tha baby up and threw him in tha trash heep
I guess she thought she'd get away
Wouldn't hear tha cries
She didn't realize
How much tha tha little baby had her eyes
Now tha babys in tha trash heep balling
Momma can't help her, but it hurts ta hear her calling
Brenda wants ta run away
Momma say, you makin' me lose pay, tha social workers here
everyday
Now Brenda's gotta make her own way
Can't go to her family, they won't let her stay
No money no babysitter, she couldn't keep a job
She tried ta sell crack, but end up getting robbed
So now what's next, there ain't nothin left ta sell
So she sees sex as a way of leavin hell
It's payin tha rent, so she really can't complain
Prostitute, found slain, and Brenda's her name, she's got a baby

Baaaaaaaaby

(don't you know she's got a baby)
-Tupac on 2Pacalypse Now

Colorado 2008, a walk through and reflection

2008-09-29T16:36:00.000-07:00

Colorado has quickly become a place of peace and love for me. Despite the fact that in Christian circles Colorado is usually associated with Focus on the Family, Conservative Christianity, Young Life (a organization I generally love), and Colorado Spring(the other happy valley other than the Provo Utah area). I have come to love Colorado for totally different reasons friends, hippies, liberals, walking, and mountains. Three years ago Tim and I took a week long trip to see our friends Garret, Aubrey, Jared and the rest of the Shelsta family. I still remember the week long trip as one of the funnest times in the last three years, after all it was when I feel in love with ping-pong and groudiez.
Since that time I have gone and visited the loved members of the Shelsta family two other times, one was two years ago and the other just a week ago. This time for the first time I was out in Colorado solo, in that Tim was not with me. I left on the morning of the 21st of September and arrived in Colorado one plane flight and great conversation with a very open African American women later (lets just say I now know here son's "man's part is large" and that her neighbor once tried to sell her "Adult toys" to kill the time in a snow storm). When I got off the plane Jerry, Garret's dad, picked me up and brought me to Garret's work where I sat and drank coffee and read while waiting for Garret to get off work. Afterward, we meet up with some of Garret and Aubrey's friends at a bar in Boulder to watch the Bronco's game. Being that I am a Chargers fan I wasn't too excited that the Broncos won but hey the company was good so... When the game was done we went to Garret's church were I got to be apart of a great community of people who long to see the Kingdom manifested in the world in a tangible way. For dinner Garret took myself and his sisters to a great little local Mexican food restaurant on Pearl street in Boulder.

For the next couple of days Garret and I just hung out, went to coffee shops, watched Heroes, and just caught up on each others life's. Tuesday night Garret had a youth meeting so I sat in on it and thought he did an amazing job running the meeting. As a youth worker it is always great to be around other youth workers and see them at work. Garret is great at what he does! Right before the meeting Aubrey got back from Chicago, where she was visiting friends from college. That night all three of us went to late night Sushi, that was very good btw.

Wednesday Garret had a staff meeting so I went to a local coffee shop and got some reading done and watched some "How I Meet Your Mother," which is a great show. Afterwords I meet up with Garret and grabbed some lunch. After lunch we went on the longest walk of my life! Not that is a bad thing. Garret and Aubery only have one car so when one takes the car to work the other is left walking or riding their bikes. This isn't to bad in Boulder because everything is so close. I wish I lived in a community where I could walk or bike everywhere and didn't have to rely on my car as much as I do in Socal. Not only is walking a great way to feel and be apart of your local community but walking helps save the planet, which I am always down for, after all God did give us the command to care for the world right after he created us.Our walk took us to a local bike shop and hardware store to pick up things Garret needed to fix his bike as well as work on some other bikes him and a friend are building together. On the way back to their house Garret and sat in a park by a farms market. We had to wait for it to be 4 0'clock so Garret could pick up his produce for the week from a local farmer Aubrey and him buy from. Later that night I got to be apart of Garret and Aubrey's local church community/bible study/cell group thing. It was great to see and be apart of a community that care so much for people I also care so much about. The best thing about this community was that it was naturally multi-generational, made up of both singles and marrieds, and worked to care for others in their community.

The next day Garret and I woke up early and went on a short 2 hour hike leaving directly from their house and walking strait up into the mountains. After the hike and a much needed shower we meet up with some of his students for lunch. I don't know how Garret got so lucky, but his students are into some amazing music and even have a great little indie band! Later that night-since it was the last night of the trip-Garret, Aubrey and I packed up a dinner of wine, cheese, crackers, and a salad and drove up into the Rocky's for dinner. We pulled off on the side of the road and ate dinner looking over a beautiful Rocky mountain valley. We sat up there until it was about dark and headed down to conclude the night with a in home movie and some of Aubrey's great peach pie and ice cream.

Overall my time in Colorado was amazing as usual. It is always so refreshing to be with people who you love and you know love you. Garret and Aubrey are two people who I know care deeply about me and who I deeply care about. My time in Colorado allowed me some great time to reflect and see some practical ways to get a intentional community together. Katie and I know that if not now, even though we hope for soon, God is calling Katie and I to be apart of an multi-generational intentional community of people who work to live out the kingdom in their daily interaction and life's. Thank you again to both of them and love and peace to all.

Writing from Boulder, CO

2008-09-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

For the last few days I have been in Boulder, CO. hanging out with my old roommate and friend Garret and my friend Aubrey, who happens to be Garret's wife. After I get back I will do more of a reflection on my time here but for now just know that it has been a great time relaxing, catching up with friends, and exploring new places. The sound track for this trip so far has consisted of:
Bob Dylan's - Blond on Blond
Jenny Lewis' - Acid Tongue
Jon Foreman's - Spring and Summer Ep's
Ra Ra Riot's - The Rhumb line
Sigur Rios' - Með Suð Í Eyrum Við Spilum Endalaust
I highly recommend all of these CD's, they have all help set a great tone for this trip. Peace and Love to everyone.

Why Sarah Palin for VP scares me

2008-09-08T20:23:00.000-07:00

Looking at CNN.com I came across this story about Sarah Palin's religious beliefs. To be really honest I wasn't too shocked after hearing Palin make a few speeches but like most people I hate to be right.
"Speaking of the troops in Iraq, Palin says on the video, ""Pray for our military men and women who are striving do to what is right. Also for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending them out on a task that is from God. That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for -- that there is a plan, and that plan is God's plan.'" Video Watch Palin speak at her former church »here
The saddest part is that many people in this country, like Palin, still believe in manifest destiny. May God help us all.

Ramblings of the last month

2008-08-22T16:07:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I have posted. I have been busy to say the least. This last month has been an interesting time in life. For the last two weeks of July I was house sitting for Katie’s (my girlfriend) parents house while Katie, her family and some members of her church were in Israel. During those two weeks I was also in an intensive class at Fuller called Modern Church Theology, where we studied Western Church Theology since the 16th century. The class was good but way to much information to try to remember in two weeks. During these two weeks I was also helping prepare for our youth groups Mexico missions trip so I was busy.
I was though very happy to have my girlfriend back at the end of her trip and I know she was also glad to be back.
With the end of July my sister and her husband also traveled back to their home in Korea. My sister had been in the States since mid-June and her husband since the beginning of July. Much of the time they were in town Katie and I spent time driving back to my parent’s house or trying to meet them half way somewhere in Riverside County. It was hard to say goodbye to them but I know I will see them again in December. I have to admit though it has been nice to not have to spend so much of my weekend driving back and forth to Riverside County.
Two weeks ago I was Mexico with my youth group. There were a total of 21 of us and the trip was good but hard at the same time. During the week we built a 22 x 22 foot house for a family of 10, a single mom and her nine children. The family was previously living in a shack no bigger than 10 x 15. The new structure we built them will provide housing with doors and locks for many of the children to live in. It seemed as if many of the students were moved by the poverty of Mexico and by the family themselves. Many of our students connected with the family through playing with the children. One of my favorite memories of the trip actuality happened after the trip when a mom of one of our students came up to Janelle and myself and told us that her son was in tears telling her about how Jesus, one of the children, was running in and out of the house on the last day screaming “Mi Casa Nuevo!” The mom told us that he was moved by the fact that a child would be so excited about a new house that was barely the size of his living room.
Since I have been back from Mexico I have been working on work from my modern Church theology class. The work is coming slowly, needless to say I am a little burnt out on school. Since I have been back I have also gotten to have some conversations with a friend of mine named Christiana. She works for CRM and her and her husband are moving to San Diego in January to start an intentional missional community through CRM. Both Christiana and her husband Derek, my churches worship leader, have a calling to work with and in intentional communities. Last week Christiana and I had a great conversation about intentional communities because she is aware that I am interested in the topic. After our hour long conversation over the phone she has asked me to compel a group of people to meet with her boss Sam and talk about doing intentional communities. The hope is that Sam will be a resource for us as well as helping some of us think through what an intentional community might look like. Christiana warned me that many times she has seen people that have good ideas but who are not willing to make the sacrifice to make things happen. She really urged me to start praying and thinking about how God has gifted me and my calling in life. I know that God has called me to life in intentional communities but now it is just flushing out the who, where, when and sorts. I hope that the conversation with Sam will help. I have to say I am sad though that more people who have affected a lot my thinking, such as Garrett, will not be able to be at the meeting. As of now it will only be Katie, Tim and I. We hope to ask more people to join in to the conversation but have not yet. I am sure as this gets flushed out more I will be updating.
Sorry if this blog seems a little forced, because it was, I just felt I needed to post something but am sick of writing, but hey here it is so…love…

"With a Buzz in Our Ears We Play Endlessly"

2008-07-09T17:19:00.001-07:00

With the coming of July it is crazy to think that 2008 is already half way over. July has so far been a great month! The 4th was one of the best 4ths I have had in my life, just because how chill it was. There is nothing like a day off with 15 plus friends, BBQ, some drinks, football, a good walk to 7-11 and fireworks in the streets of Azusa. I think my favorite part of the night was lighting off fireworks behind Alosta place in Azusa. Since in G-town it is illegal to set off fireworks we had to mozy on down to Azusa. When walked onto the street the smell of sulfur quickly let us know we were in the right place. I think everyone who lived there on the street was out hanging out with each other and having fun. There were kids, adults, random creepy men lighting off fireworks from the back of their cars, and us. It was so cool just to see people from the community outside of their houses and enjoying one another. For far to long have we let our homes become our personal hideaways from the outside world. A night light this gives me hope for a community of loved ones.
The day after the 4th Tim, Geoff, Jackson, Ryan, Roy, Elliot and I got together and invited a few of our friends to participate in sports day 2008. The idea behind the day was to play sports all day long and then end the day with a sports movie. We all (about 10 us) meet up about 9:30 am at Azusa square and started off the day with 2 and half hours of football; this was a bad choice! After just 3 long games of football we all were already beat, yet the day had to go on and so it did. After football with played an hour of ultimate frisbee. I am happy to say that both of my teams dominated both football and ultimate, in fact the final ultimate source was something like 15 touch downs to 4.
After ultimate we went to the closest area of shade, since it was over 100 degrees outside and BBQed some hotdogs. After the BBQ about nine more people showed up and we played nine innings of softball. My team lost...sad day. During the game Jackson ended up almost breaking his thumb after a throw from Ryan to get a man out on first was way to low for Jackson to get to. The highlight of the softball game was when Tim slid into 3rd, with shorts on, only to get tagged out by the 3rd baseperson who had the ball for about 15 seconds before Tim even got to the base.
I don't know if it was the heat or what but after the softball game all nine newbes took off and left the O.G. ten of us, minus Tim because he went home to because of his bloody leg due to his slide, to finish up the day with two basketball games in the freaking hot as hell courage dome. By the second basketball game, to 15 by 1's and 2's, I was drifting somewhere between thinking I might pass out and feeling like I was going to throw-up. On top of that I had a mad headache from dehydration despite the fact that I had already finished off 5 Nalgenes of water and middle sized gatorade.
To end the day five of the original nine ran a four by four relay, each of us running a 1/4 mile. I was surprised that our team of four (Jackson, myself, Geoff, and Ryan) completed the relay under 7.30 min. That night we meet back up after showers to eat some subway and watched "We Are Marshal." Overall it was a great day! I hurt like hell for the next three days but it was totally worth it!

With half of the year over I also have come up with my top 5 CD's so far in the year 2008. Many of these CD's I have not digested in their fullness but here they are with a couple of honorable mentions:

Top Five of 2008 (as of July 2008)
1. Sigur Rós - Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust ("With a Buzz in Our Ears We Play Endlessly")
2. Vampire Weekend - Self-titled
3. Fleet Foxes - Self-titled
4. Foals - Antidotes
5. Death Cab for Cutie - Narrow Stairs

Honorable Mentions (in no order)
Thrice - The Alchemy Index: Vol. 3 & 4: Wind and Earth
Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
Hayden - In Field & Town
The Acorn - Glory Hope Mountain
Wolf Parade - At Mount Zoomer

Reflections on my two weeks in Systematic Theology

2008-07-03T08:25:00.001-07:00

Today I finish my last day class for Systematic Theology 2: Christology, Pneumatology and Soteriology. As I sit in class totally distracted as the T.A. talks to us I thought I would put together a top 10 list of things learned over the last two weeks of class.

10. Getting up around 6am makes me really tired.
9. Risk online is a great way to kill time.
8. Four hours strait of Systematic Theology is never a good idea.
7. I still don't understand why we have to approach theology either "from above" or "from below."
6. The early church fathers taught crazy stuff and for the most part would be put out on the street by many evangelicals today.
5. Penal Substitution is a Western/ post enlightenment construction
4. Jurgen Moltmann, Wolfhart Pannenberg, Karl Barth, Karl Rahner and Stanely Grenz are freaking awesome.
3. Eastern Orthodox theologians have their stuff together, and are for the most part right on.
2. White people have held the reigns of theology for way to long and this needs to change.
1. "Our God is an awesome God!"...J/K...no really, he must be to deal with the fact that we try way to hard to try to explain him

Killing time while in class...

2008-06-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

This Monday I started my summer quarter at Fuller. I am expecting a busy summer full of school, youth ministry, trying to make money any other way I can, spending time with my sister who is back from Korea until the end of July, Geoff and Kyle's wedding, a trip to CO, and hanging out with my girlfriend and friends. At the moment I am taking a class in Systematic Theology: Christology, Pneumatology and Soteriology. While at times theology can be very interesting, at least to me, I need a break sometimes in which I search the internet for things to distract my mind. Today I came across the most amazing and somewhat distrubing product. I have to admit I want this product, I have taken my ipod into the restroom with me to help pass the time during #2 session but there are times when my ipod are dead or I can't find my headphones so in times like these this little device could help. You could also use it to rock out when you are in the shower and while getting ready in the morning! Love it!

Why Fox News Sucks!

2008-05-26T19:27:00.000-07:00

And people wonder why Fox news sucks and aren't respected by anyone with a brain. They should be banned from the air. WTF!

This is what happens when Tim and Casey get bored

2008-05-20T23:31:00.000-07:00

These videos are rated R for strong language and a brief sex scene.

Let the children come to me

2008-05-19T22:37:00.000-07:00

Over the last couple of days I have been working on a paper for class that I am quite proud of. The paper deals with Mark 9:33-37 and 10:13-16, but its focus is on the latter. In both of these passages Jesus uses children as an illustration to teach his disciples about the Kingdom of God. Yet in Mark 10:13-16 Jesus makes an interesting statement, "Do not impede the children from coming to me."
In March of 2007, Chap Clark stood up at his inaugural professorial lecture at Fuller seminary and called for or a new model of ministering to youth by assimilating them into the life of the congregation based on Matthew's version of Mark 10:13-16. Clark as well as many other scholars have noticed that our current structures of youth ministry are hurting our students more than helping them. Our programs are based on the goal of making individual disciples of Jesus within the context of the youth program. As students move through the youth programs and graduate from high school students find themselves lost and disconnected from the body of the church and soon drift away from any faith in Jesus they once held. Researchers are finding that this occurs because while students are deeply connected to adults and other students in the youth group they are not connected to any other adults in the rest of the church. This means that when they leave youth group they leave their community.
Over the last nine months this research as become a reality for many of the students that I have had a relationship with over the last two years at Baseline. Two of our youth group students that graduated in June of 2007 have both left our church and one now is not sure if he even believes in God any more. As I have continued to meet with these two students, as much as our busy schedules allow, they have both told me that the reason they do not come to church anymore is because they feel that they do not belong in our church's normal serve. One has even gone as far as to say that he has even felt personally judged by many adults within the church as well as our head pastor himself.
Jesus' words in Mark 10 are more important for us to hear today, in relation to adolescents than at any other time in the history of the Church. The western fascination with children though cannot be read back into the Mark passage. Those who were under the authority and care of others, such as children, had not yet achieved the right of self-determination. This means that in the Greco-Roman world a children’s stratum and status where first directly related to the stratum and status of their own parents. If a child’s parents were from a low stratum and status their children were also believed to be of the same stratum and status. Children not only had the fact that their parents determined their status to overcome but children in the Greco-Roman world children were viewed as the members of the lowest status scale Today it is no different for adolescent in the church. Our youth have been sparated from the body of the Church and given the lowest status in the life of the church. Our churches have impeded our youth from coming to Jesus and this needs to change. We need and change, we need to ask questions, if not, our youth and the future of the church in the U.S. is in trouble.

My top ten comic book movies ever...because Tim made me

2008-05-07T17:31:00.000-07:00

I was moved by my roommate tim's list and my pure boredom in class. Plus I needed to find and excuse to use this picture in some way. So here is my list of my top 10 comic book movies ever...

Top 10
10 X-Men
9. The Crow
8. Superman Returns
7. Batman
6. X-Men
5. Iron Man
4. X-Men 2
3. Batman Begins
2. V for Vendetta
1. Spider Man 2

An update on recent thoughts through my reading of Sndra Ely Wheeler

2008-04-22T13:57:00.000-07:00

Sondra Ely Wheeler in Wealth as Peril and Obligation: The New Testament on Possessions, concentrates more on the narrated setting and situation of the Markan text. Wheeler approaches wealth in the New Testament through a study of Mark 10:17-31. Mark’s structure builds up to show who Jesus is, the Messiah, and how he must suffer because of who he is (49-50). It is within this structure we find the story of the Rich Man. The man in the story, who is believed to be rich, is unable to leave his many possessions in order to have the life “he knows enough to seek;” as Wheeler puts it “He (the man) departs grieving…the first to mourn his own death” (45). When the man leaves Jesus widens the scope to include those “having riches.” In the following verses the scope gets even wider as it includes Jesus’ own disciples. Wheeler suggest that the heart of the message of this pericope is found in the disciple response to Jesus, “and who can be saved?” Wheeler suggest that this suggests that only through God can it be possible for anyone, even the rich, to “wholeheartedly” respond to what the “kingdom requires” (47). There though is some requirement from individuals in order to be welcomed into the kingdom. For Mark, Wheeler believes, that one’s “undivided love” is demonstrated by “following Jesus on the road to Jerusalem” (48-49). Following Jesus though means that we are not just to follow him around but that we are willing to follow him to his death (49). As Wheeler states, “discipleship is formally following Jesus on ‘the way of the cross’” (51). Within this message we cannot expect the call to poverty as something unreasonable (51). This is not to say that all are called to poverty but that but what this means is that “whatever you have sell it” and “come follow me (Jesus)” (51). This makes wealth a “potential obstacle to discipleship” (53). Wheeler notes that the theme of Mark calls the Church to “some substantive notion of a ‘Kingdom of God’ that might be entered (or not)” (55). This means that a commitment to Christ might teak the form of being called upon to do something “concrete and distinctive” even leaving or possessions in order to follow Jesus (55).
As I read through both Nardoni and Wheeler I could not help but become saddened. As I mentioned above, the U.S. church is rarely a picture or even a glimpse of what it seems that the Kingdom should be. The U.S. church is more concerned with their own individual lives and saving souls that Biblical justice gets thrown to the side and becomes an after thought. Inside the church I rarely encounter individuals who are willing to take the step outside of their comfort zone to really pursue what the Kingdom calls us to be. The church is more interested in pursuing the American Dream. I really question who it would look like to preach the gospel of the Kingdom of justice in a church today. It seems like we are more like the Rich Man, not willing to let go of what keeps us from following Jesus, than we are Jesus’ disciples. How do you proclaim this message in a church that has become comfortable?
I have recently come face to face with this reality in my own life. I have for the longest time thought that I somehow existed above the reality of the U.S. church, not realizing that I was had become just like the Rich Man. I was aware of the cognitive knowledge of the what it means to be a member of the community of the Kingdom of God, but I had bought into the American Dream of a house with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog. As I said to a friend two weeks go on the phone, “it is so easy to just buy into the American Dream, it is all so appealing.” The road to Jerusalem though is not such an easy road. It is a road that calls us to ultimately die. While this might not be a physical death, this road calls us to give up our lives and with that our dreams of a picture perfect life depicted in the paintings of Norman Rockwell. So, the question that is left is what does a life lived falling Jesus toward Jerusalem look like, but not only for myself but for the Church?

...Almost There

2008-03-03T21:13:00.000-08:00

This quarter has been one of the craziest ever! 12 units, 3 classes all on different days of the week! What the crap was I thinking! Exegetical Methods is kicking my butt! Hey two and half more weeks and I am done. I don't think I have ever been this ready for a break. I am so excited for my week and half off of school. During that time I plan on doing a lot of nothing but working till 2ish everyday to make money, reading for fun, hanging out with friends and girlfriend, and a 2 day retreat to an undisclosed region by myself with Jesus. Other than school I have been stressing looking for a youth job. If you hear of anything give me a shot out! I need some love and encouragement. Love yo all! I hope I will be back soon.

Top Albums of 2007 and more...

2008-01-03T14:13:00.000-08:00

This has been a great year for music. At the beginning of the year I was not to sure how this year would turn out being disappointed by many of the CD’s that were released in the first half of this year like Bloc Party, Sherwood, and The Academy Is… There were some early highlights like Bright Eyes, Dear and the Headlights, and Fiest but over all is was a disappointing first half of the year. Because of this I ended up really getting into some CD of last year like Manchester Orchestra and The Annuals. Yet when the summer came the amount of CD’s coming out in a month sky rocketed as usually and I was drowning in good music once again. As you will see, for those who have known my music taste for a while I have grown in my music taste and development a different palette if you will. For instance, while As I Lay Dying’s An Ocean Between Us was a good CD, it did not make my top 20 because I have pretty much gotten over pop-core, hardcore and metal music and moved to a more indie/ folk / eclectic/ hip-hop/ pop lover. Therefore this year I bring you my top 20 of 2007 as well as some little extras to bring you into the next year. We can only hope that 2008 will be half as good as 2007. I hope you will check out and support the bands I have listed here if you have not heard them before or give them a second listen if you have passed by them in the past. Love and enjoy!

Top 10 CD’s of 2007
1. Arcade Fire – Neon Bible (Amazing CD! There is nothing else to say)
2. The National – Boxer (fall in love to this CD, while watching Garden State and/or Juno)
3. Dear and the Headlights – Small Steps Heavy Hooves (Most listened to of 2007)
4. Iron and Wine – The Shepard’s Dog (Iron and Wine taken to a new level)
5. Band of Horses – Cease to Begin (Folk Indie Rock at it’s best)
6. The Most Serene Republic – Population (Listen to if you are dancing in a field of flowers with your closest friends or running through the streets during a revolution)
7. Chase Pagen – Oh Musica! (Piano {check}, Voice {check}, Beauty {check}; Rufus Wainwright eat your heart out!)
8. Menomena – Friend of Foe (When you are listening know they are only a three member band and be blown away)
9. Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew – Spirit If… (B.S.S. is being one of my favorite bands of all time with music written by one of it’s founding members you know it will be good)
10. Radiohead – In Rainbows (One of the most approachable Radiohead CD’s in a long time, great as usually)

Honorable Mentions (11 – 20 of 2007)
11. Field Music – Tones of Town (It took me forever to find this CD and it was well worth the wait. It was everything I was wanting in a CD at the prefect time.)
12. Straylight Run – The Needless, The Space (Straylight took it to a new level)
13. Common – Finding Forever (My top Hip Hop CD of 2007. The beats and lyrics are just quality. The best thing about this CD is how you can hear the heart and soul of Common in every line. He is not rapping for his own self but for “the people” in hopes to tell other about the injustice of our system to hoping to get the common person through their day.)
14. Bright Eyes – Cassadaga (Coner O. is back, an album of self discovery; musically and personally)
15. Jay – Z – American Gangster (Jay-Z is back for all who hated Kingdom Come, and for those who have been around he is still taking it to a new level)
16. Fiest – The Reminder (loved the first CD, loved this one about half as much maybe because I hear it at every true, will even know but it is still in my top 20)
17. Dr. Dog – We All Belong (Think modern day indie Beatles = Love)
18. Steel Train – Trampoline (In line with The Format’s Dog Problems pulls together many styles from classic rock, jazz, Bob Dylan, Beatles, musicals and mixes them into an Indy-pop smoothie for your singing and listening enjoyment)
19. As Cities Burn – Come Now Sleep (While this CD is different from their last one I feel that it is a good step forward. The CD is an honest portal of someone struggling with God, sin, grace, and heaven and hell.)
20. Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals (I love Ben acoustic/chill style)

Top 10 Songs of 2007
1. Keep the Car Running – Arcade Fire
2. The Most Serene Republic – Present of the Future End
3. Grace – Dear and the Headlights
4. No One Would Riot For Less – Bright Eyes
5. Invasion – Eisley
6. Horse by the Sea – Iron and Wine
7. Ode to Lrc – Band of Horses
8. 15 Steps – Radiohead
9. Hunting for Witches – Bloc Party
10. Contact – As Cities Burn

Top New Finds of 2007(CD’s that did not come out in 2007)
1. Manchester Orchestra – I’m Like a Virgin Losing a Child
This would have been my number 2 CD of the year if it would have come out in 2007, yet this list. I probably listened to this CD more than any other CD this last year. Everything on this CD is nearly prefect from the music to recording to lyrics. You can feel the passion and honesty of every song as if you listen as if you were seeing the band live! And the best part about this band is they are 100 times better live!
2. Silversun Pickups – Carnavas
Reminds most of the Smashing Pumpkins but more indie sounding. Love the CD love the band! Excited for their 2008 release!
3. Annuals – Be, He, Me
This band is in the new stream of bands indie bands that are coming out that mix genres all over the place leaving you not knowing what they will do next.

Top Surprises of 2007 that didn’t make the top 20
1. Yellowcard – Paper Walls
I don’t think there is one person who liked Yellowcard’s last CD. This CD is a return to what made them famous good pop-punk that makes you want to sing at the top of your lungs as you speed down the highway with your friends
2. Dashboard Confessional – The Shade of Poison Trees
Dashboard takes a step in the right direction for the first time in years. The last two CD’s have been over all boring with good songs few and far between. Dashboard has not only come back to their roots in this CD with a return to acoustically driven rock that made then stand apart when they first came onto the scene.
3. The Junior Varsity – Cinematographic
This CD is quiet I move from their pop-punk roots to a more mature rock indy sound that deals with larger issues than girls dumps boy. The band approaches issues of faith, hope, the working class lifestyle, and all the other trials that come with life. Great CD!

Most Disappointing
1. Rilo Kiley – Under The Blacklight
I have loved the last 3 Rilo Kiley Cd's and when I heard about their new CD I was very excited to see what it would sound like. I have even seen Rilo twice live and loved them both time as well as Jenny Lewis’ solo band and loved them to. When their first single "The moneymaker" came out I thought I was listening to a totally different band. The music was bland and the lyrics where honorable. I picked up the album anyways out of love for everything that Rilo has done in the past. The first two songs, Silver Lining and Close Call are strongest songs on the album with Dreamworld and Breakin' Up following close behind, but really that is not saying much. Then comes "The Moneymaker," this song's musical make up grew on me but the lyrics are still some of the worst I have heard on any Rilo album. Much of the album reminds me of this song, musical content that is just okay to poor with but lyrics that just lack. It seems as if the band is going for a concept album but it is overall unclear and messy. When it comes down this is a CD that I have had to force myself to even get through the thing, something that never happened to me on during a listen through of the first 3 Rilo CD's.
2. Sherwood – A Different Light
I was really excited about this release. It was in my top 10 of 2007. At first listen I enjoyed the album and hoped and thought it would grow on more. Yet it did not…I soon became bored with the CD and when listening to it could not get past track 6 or 7. The most disappointing thing for me was that half of the album contained songs that were pre-released as a free EP download in the summer of 2006. On top of that the four out of the five songs were better on the free EP download then they were on the CD.
3. Saves the Day – Under the Boards
Anyone who knows me knows that I love Saves the Day and every single CD that they have ever done, even In Reverie, which everyone hated. This CD is the second in a series of three CD’s through Chris Conley’s brain. The first about the dark times in life and the second about picking up the broke piece of our lives. Yet the CD doesn’t seem to focus on this central theme throughout the whole, as most Saves the Day CD’s do. The CD just feels like random songs about disappointment strung together by four or five songs that bookend the album. For track 2 to 7 the CD just drags with poppy songs that yes you can sing along to but seem out of place within the context of the CD’s theme. On top of that Track 9 has a horrible voice over that sounds like it should be on a bad horror movie. Lastly out of any Saves the Day CD this CD lack lyrically, which is usually the strongest element of any Saves the Day CD’s. The lyrics are plain, not descriptive and just typical for a band in their genre. The only reason this album isn’t number 2 on this list is because the musical backing of most songs are so strong.
4. 4. Mae – Singularity
It is never a good sign when you hear about two members of a band hating new material so much that they don’t want to play the songs, hear the songs and eventually leave the band. That how bad and boring this stuff is
5. Kanye West – Graduation
I have been a fan of all of the Kanye CD’s. When I got more into Hip Hop Kanye was one of the first artists I really checked out and got into. With this being this final album in what seems as of now to be a serious of three I was expecting it to be very similar to the last two, yet from the first track he proved me wrong. I love the direction Kanye went with beats on this album they are new, fresh and really good. Sadly what did not like about this album was much of the lyrical content which is why this album concludes this list as number 5. By track 6 I am just tired of hearing all about Kanye and how cool he thinks he is. For a guy that has been hanging out with the likes of Common and Talib Kweli I was expecting a little more socially focused album but oh was I wrong. On top of that this album hosts the worst Kanye song ever, Drunk Hot Girls with Mos Def, which makes the song that much more disappointing because I like Mos Def’s stuff. As a reviewer said about this song, “it sounds like a reject Eminem song.”

10 Most Looking Forward to in 2008
1. The Format
2. mewithoutYou
3. Brand New
4. Jeremy Enigk
5. Dear and the Headlights
6. Silversun Pickups
7. Sufjan Stevens
8. Anathalo
9. Saves the Day
10. Destroy the Runner

Cindy is floating somewhere in our U.S. mail system

2007-12-31T14:18:00.000-08:00

Katie and I just got back from San Fran yesterday. It was a great trip visiting our friends Stephanie, Danny, Joel and Jeanne. Sadly I left my computer (Cindy) at Steph's house...sad day! Steph had to send Cindy to me in the mail. I hope that he gets here ok? Have a good new years everyone! I will be back in the new year when I get Cindy back.

Friends!

2007-12-19T22:18:00.000-08:00

I still love that 2 and half years after I have graduated from college I still have a group of close friends around. These friends have been great over the last 2 years. I know all in the area are not represented by the picture below (such as JD and Jon E)but looking at this picture reminds me of how great it is to be apart of a community of people that care about each other and make a point to get together regularly no matter how crazy our lives are or because some of us are married, engaged, dating or single. I love you all!

Which theologian am I?

2007-12-15T18:41:00.001-08:00

Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Jürgen Moltmann

The problem of evil is central to your thought, and only a crucified God can show that God is not indifferent to human suffering. Christian discipleship means identifying with suffering but also anticipating the new creation of all things that God will bring about.

Anselm

80%

Jürgen Moltmann

80%

John Calvin

67%

Karl Barth

60%

Friedrich Schleiermacher

60%

Jonathan Edwards

47%

Martin Luther

47%

Paul Tillich

33%

Charles Finney

33%

Augustine

13%

Christmas Party

2007-12-15T18:32:00.001-08:00

Tonight is the SoCal Christmas party! If you are not here we love and miss you all!

WTF?

2007-12-13T01:17:00.000-08:00

So tonight while was at my church advent service I received a phone call from a church in Thousand Oaks where I had a second interview at a week ago (the first was a phone interview and the second in person). I was informed that I did not get the job, despite the fact that the pastor and search committee "loved my compassion for youth" and "thought I would be a great youth pastor,"yet there were some on the board and in session(a word meaning the old people who run a Presbyterian Church) who did not think I "fit what a youth pastor should be like." The person went on to explain how the people of the church were set in their ways and I didn't fit their "idea of what or who a youth pastor should be like." What the F#@$! Next time maybe I should cut my hair short cut off my beard and wear clothes from Express and not say things like "the Church should be about more than caring for itself. It should be about caring for the needs of those in its community, like the day labors who get paid unfair wages who live 10 minutes from this church." Maybe then I will have a job? I am just so tired of looking for a job in the Church! Sometimes I wonder why I event want to work in the Church?
Then I remember how my current church staff reacted to when I told them what the church said, they were about as upset and discussed by the church as I was, and I remember there are people in the Church that care about the Kingdom of God and love Jesus and want to wrestle with what it means to be the Church. Thank you to all those who love.

Thanksgiving and National Identity

2007-11-21T22:49:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. People all over the U.S. will gather together in homes with family and friends to celebrate the day that pilgrims were showed compassion by the Native people of North America. Reflecting on this moment in time, people all over the country will gather in thanksgiving for our country and our national identity. This will cause some good Christian people to reflect on the hope they have for a day that our nation can return the “Christian roots” it was found on; believing that the return of the Ten Commandments and prayer to the public schools, outlawing abortion and homosexuality and restoring “Christian family values” to the families of our nation will put this country back in order again restoring it to a “Christian nation” status.

Over the last few years I have started to hate Thanksgiving. Not because I am again with my family (I love spending time with my family) or because I hate turkey just that much (which I don’t, I love turkey) but, because I feel that in celebrating Thanksgiving as a national holiday we are somehow celebrating the ideas our nation was founded on, mostly “Manifest Destiny” or our “Divine Right” or ourselves as a “Christian Nation,” seeming to look back to that one day that the Native America’s shared a meal with the pilgrims as the day our “Christian Nation” was born.

But I ask the question that Gregory Boyd asked, “When was our nation ever Christ-like?” What does this “Christian Nation” that so many good Christian people want to return the U.S. to look like? Was it when we built our economy on the backs of African American slaves? Or was it when we murdered thousands of Native Americans for our “God given rights”? Or maybe it was when we lead the way in industrialization, employing children and workers in unsafe working environments? Or maybe it was after in the 1950’s when we treated women and minorities unfairly not paying them same wages or even giving them their “God given” right to vote?

Our nation has never been a “Christian nation.” We might have been a nation with Christianity as a part of it but never a “Christian nation.” As Christians we should not find our identity or pledge ourselves to a national idea or earthly nation, we should find our identity and pledge our lives to God.

Therefore, I urge you this Thanksgiving not to look back on Thanksgiving and be thankful for who we are as an earthly nation that will pass away no matter how much money we spend on national defense. Find your identity and give thanks for the continued compassion God has for you as a member of creation and the Kingdom. May we as people of God then go and bring forward His Kingdom, which does not pass away and does not have boarders. May we as a Christian people find our hope and thanks not in the reform of a constitution or law(s) but in what God has done in the world through His Son and through His people.

"Oatmeal and Throw-up:" an update on my life...

2007-11-13T20:27:00.001-08:00

Just thought I would write I quick life update...
As the Holidays approach I am starting to look forward to having a month of school off and spending time with friends and family without homework hanging over my me. I especially looking forward to going up north to Monterey, San Fran and/or Mammoth during the break! It is crazy to think that over the last eight weeks I have almost learned enough New Testament Greek to start to doing exegesis in a Greek New Testament! This quarter as gone by so quickly and has been really tiresome, but really good. I have meet some really good friends in my Greek class at Fuller. I weekly look forward to our hour breaks from class where we sit together over coffee or breakfast and discuss life, Jesus, the kingdom of God, politics, and community living. I will miss our tri-weekly meetings once our class is done, but I think we all hope that our conversation time together won't end for good.
Ministry wise...I am loving Baseline but am also realizing how hard it is for me to only have to time to being doing youth ministry part-time, while also knowing that I could be leaving the church for a full time position in the next few months, being that I have been interviewing with a few churches lately. I am hoping that by this summer I will be in a full time ministry position but we will wait and see if my plans line up with what God has in store for me.
Two weekends ago I spent two nights in a row at the Brand New, Thrice, and mewithoutYou shows in L.A. The shows were really good both nights but different. I was sad that I didn't really get to see mewithoutYou's set either night only catching five songs Saturday and two Sunday night. Thrice's set Saturday night was okay, the structure of the set was kind of weird, moving from slower songs right into quick ones, then back again. Sunday night was much better, their set flowed a lot better and was overall a stronger performance. I was surprised that they only played five new songs in a twelve song set both nights. Brand New took the show both nights. Saturday night their set was nothing more than spiritual. Both Casey and I left in awe. Sunday night they changed up their set and totally changed the feel of their show into more of a rock star performance with everything from guitar throws to ground spinning guitar solos. Other than that music wise as my friend Casey put it, "I have been drowning in music lately." As the year comes to an end and as the question of what are my top ten albums of 2007 rapidly approaches I have been cycling through more music than ever. You can check out my current listen section to see what I have been playing over and over.
Friend and girlfriend stuff are good. I miss my friends like Casey, Jon, Tyler and Garret but just knowing they are there for me is refreshing. I am excited to see Jon Axtell this weekend and meet his new friends! I love that I have come to a place with so many of my friends that even though I don't see them every weekend, when we do see each other it is like we were never away from each other. If you really want to know that details of Katie and my relationship then call me, don't worry I promise all is good!
I guess over-all life is good, now all I have to do is get rid of this stupid cold!
P.S. Mallory thanks for the title!

Questions...(Youth Specialties Review)

2007-10-24T22:41:00.000-07:00

This last weekend I went down to San Diego to the National Youth Workers Convention put on by Youth Specialties. Before going down I was looking forward to spending time with friends and learning about youth and ministering to them; excited to see how God would then continue to shape my philosophy of youth ministry during this weekend. I never expected to have my heart be challenged in such an amazing, yet difficult way.

During the Saturday morning general session, an all-too-familiar speaker walked on stage, Francis Chan. I had heard Chan many times before during my undergrad at APU, and yes, at times had felt the spirit move through his words but never like this. Chan had gone through a type of crisis of faith over the last year bringing him to the point of thinking of leaving his church and questioning if he was really a “Christian at all” and taking a leave of absence for a while. Confronted with questions of his own spirituality in light of Jesus’ message of the Kingdom, he wondered why if Jesus commanded us to love our neighbors as ourselves why he was not and why his church as a whole was not. He wondered why when he and most of the American Church when coming face to face with the message of the Sermon on the Mount or Matthew 25 side stepped it by over-spiritualizing it, and not taking what Jesus said with much seriousness. This brought Chan to the conclusion that he could not truly be in love with God if he was not truly a follower of Jesus; which defined as a person who followed Jesus’ commands. Chan believed that the role of a Christian was to urge others to follow them as they followed after Jesus, as Paul did and urged many to do.

After coming to this conclusion Chan realized that he could no longer live his life as he had for so many years. Therefore, Chan sought to become what we believed was a true Christian, or follower of Jesus. After a few months Chan was asked to return to his old church by the leadership. Chan said he would think about it but only if they made a few changes in the way they ran the church. One such change was to stop a multi-million dollar building project which included constructing a new sanctuary. Chan instead believed that the church should spend much less money and construct an outside ampi-theater where the church would worship together outside, instead of inside a building. Another change Chan requested, believing that the church should love their neighbors as themselves; the church must give away 50% of all tithes to the church to help those in need.

Over the last couple of months the Spirit of God as been moving within me in a troubling way. It is troubling because God has been convicting me personally that neither myself or my communities of friends are doing much to live out the Kingdom in our lifestyle. I have really come to question if many of my, or my friends’, weekly and daily lifestyle practices are Kingdom driven or even remotely Christian driven, if you will allow me to make this distinction in light of Chan’s talk. As of late, and in light of Chan’s talk I have been asking myself questions such as: if buying $170 dollars worth of beer and liquor to celebrate a friend’s marriage is Christian Kingdom living? Is living in a house for two plus years but still not knowing your neighbors’ names Christian Kingdom living? Is spending a majority of my money on CD’s and going out on weekends Christian Kingdom living? Is not calling out a friend for hooking up with a random girl or encouraging a friend to do it Christian Kingdom living? Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not saying these things are or are not “good” or “okay,” I am just wondering why I or my community has not been asking these questions, because we should be! If we are not and we are just sitting around talking about the Kingdom we have bought into the lie that words are enough. To quote Thrice, “what have we (myself and my community) to show except the promises we never kept.” We have in fact let ourselves down. Can my life, can our lives, be more than just “flashing lights and sounds?” If “rhetoric can’t raise the dead,” I, and we, should be “sick of always talking when there is no change.” Let me, let us become followers of Christ. Let us become leaders. Let us be able to say as Paul did, “follow me as I follow Christ.” Let us see the Kingdom here, now.

Just Moments in Time

2007-09-22T18:18:00.001-07:00

For the past two years I feel that much of my life has been run based on some future event that is going to happen. Whether it is the end of a quarter, the end of a season in life, the end of a job, or the end of a day, much of my life has been lived impatiently looking forward. I have let myself become bound to the measure of clocks, watches, computers screens or calendars. There have been nights and days where I have dwelled on the future so much that I become paralyzed for doing anything at that current moment. I have felt that if a current moment of life comes, all will somehow come into order: my friendships, relationship with God, relationship with Katie, parent stuff, money. I have been living in the future, not within a current moment of life. Don’t get me wrong, there are times that I feel that I am right in that moment as if all rest of time is insignificant, but over all it pains me to say that this is not true for most of the moments in my life.

As of today I know longer want to be constricted to the impatience which has ruled my life of much of the last two years. I want to live my life in patience. Not the type of patience that is waiting for a future event, like a child patiently waiting for the morning to arrive on Christmas Eve. I want to live a life of patience that calls me to fight against the grain of my natural impulse. As Nouwen points out in his book Compassion, a life of patience enables us to “see, hear, taste, and smell as fully as possible the inner and outer events of our lives,” to “enter actively into the thick of life and to fully bear the suffering within and around us” as we “give up control…entering into a unknown territory.” The patience that Nouwen speaks of reveals a new time, a time of grace. This time is not measured by units or numbers but it is lived in fullness. These moments of time are not necessarily happy, joyful, painful, or marked with struggle. These moments of time are experience in the fullness of there importance. Every moment in life is important, I…we, can no longer afford to live lives of impatience. May you and I live every moment to its fullness, experiencing everything each moment holds within it for the purposes of His glory that is now but is to come…

Is true community possible in the "now but not yet"

2007-09-17T01:17:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I posted...much of the reason for that this because for much of the last 2 years I feel that my life has been a weird balance of fragmented constant change. Moving from quarter to quarter, living pay check to pay check, moving from close friend to distant friendship, and driving place to place. I rarely have the time to just sit and process what is going on as I run through my life. As Katie can confess, this has lead to many nights where I lay on my back, in tears, trying to talk out what I am feeling.
It is about once a year that I really get the time to sit and process life...these last 2 weeks have been this time. During the first 3 weeks of Sept. Fuller usually stops enough while job stuff is in transtion that it allows me enough time to process what the last year has held. Last year, these 3 weeks ended with an amazing trip to CO, spending much needed time with good friends giving me enough strength to run towards the distance finish line. This year, while I have enjoyed not having school or work for the last 2 weeks, I don't feel as if I have recovered enough to keep me going. The only day during these last 2 weeks that I feel that I have really have been refreshed was the day I spent celebrating my 2 year relationship with Katie. (Side Note: I love you babe! and thank you for everything during these last 2 years!) Many of the last 2 weeks have been filled with me sitting on my butt...doing nothing, which if you know me is a quick way to kill me. I thrive off of community, doing, friendship, and conversation with people I love and who love me. My community has of late shrunk to a roommate whom I love, a girlfriend whom I don't know what I would do without, a friend who I talk to on the phone from Central Cali, friends whom I feel I don't really know anymore, what I can make out of the few friends from college I still have and what I can piece together with the new friends who are still to new to amount to much as of now. For some people this might seem like a normal group of friends but for me it is barely enough to survive. Maybe this is what life has come to. It seems that if the days of dreaming of a community of friends has drifted away. As I sat in church today and listened to my pastor Donn, who has been an amazing blessing in my life over the last 2 years, talked about community, I sat there wondering if a biblical community is really possible in our culture and world today? I long for a day where my married friends don't fall into some invisible married cassim of no return. I long for a day where people won't come home and sit in front of a box where they entertain themselves to death. I long for a day where people talk face to face and not read about each other on a blog sites or myspace pages. I long for a day where families of singles, marrieds, kids, and elders can come together weekly in fellowship. Maybe this hope is fleeting? I would like to think not, but it seems that the possibility of a world like this has been drifting further and further away in the "now but not yet."

What happens when the Church and Business Strategies mix

2007-05-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

At Fuller Seminary I constantly get asked two questions: Where I did my undergrad? And what was my major in undergrad? As I quickly answer the first question proudly, Azusa Pacific University, when I come to the answer of the second question I almost have to force myself not to mutter it under my breath, Marketing. The silence in the air speaks a thousand words. The silence is usually then broken with an awkward, “really?”

As look back on why I chose Marketing as my major in undergrad I usually have the same response, “really?” It has been two years since I graduated from A.P.U. and since I started Fuller Seminary the fall quarter after I graduated from A.P.U. and what may come to a supervised to some of you, is that I have been indoctrinated with more church/business ties than I ever did at A.P.U. You see it was one reason that I made the move from marketing/business to church ministry was because I couldn’t put together the things I was learning in my mandatory Bible classes with the things I was learning in my Marketing class. It was if Church and Business existed in to different worlds or maybe “spheres,” props to Abraham Kuyper, and they shouldn’t be emerged together. Yet, I soon discovered the world some Biblical studies classes painted for me of how the ideal church or Christian should exist in America is far from anything that it actually looks like. In America lines between the sphere of the church and the sphere of business, which Abraham Kuyper believes should exist, have become blurred more than we would like to think or admit to.

Our current case study A addresses this exact problem. A pastor returning from a pastor’s conference with many new business strategy ideas wants to implement them in his dying elderly church in order to save the church from becoming extinct. In order to do this the pastor feels that the church should translate church/ministry success into quantifiableterms (numbers) that can be measured and analyzed by numbers. All ministries then that do not produce numbers are done away with because they do not fit the strategy of the church, to maximize the church numbers.

So is it wrong for the pastor to want to implement business strategies into his dying church in order to try to save it? I wonder if I frame the question in a different way it might bring to light what I believe are the really questions at hand. Is it okay for the pastor to try to save the dying church, or should the pastor let the church die along with the last elderly member of the church? I don’t think so. Is it wrong for the pastor to want to bring new live into the church in the forms of new members? I don’t think so. I think the question we have to ask though is, does the strategy the pastor wanting to implement belong in the sphere of commerce only or can this strategy also belong in the sphere of the Church?

You see it is not bad that the pastor wants to try to revive his church through bring new life to the church through new members but I think the pastor get into troubled waters when he bring a strategy that was developed in the commerce sphere of the world and implement it into the sphere of the church as the only measurable way to determine if a ministry or church is successful. Ministry should never be based only on quantifiable terms or the numbers of people we can bring to a church or ministry, as it is in the commerce sphere. Yet, the pastor has some things right, sometimes it is necessary for the church to evaluate if a ministry is being successful or not based on certain terms, it just shouldn’t be just quantifiable terms. I don’t have the space or the time to come up with a list of other terms a church can measure the successfulness of their ministries but it is important to realize that there are times when we, the church, need to take a critical look at our ministries in order to evaluate if we are using the resources of our church in the best way we can. Therefore I cannot support the pastor if he was willing to implement a church strategy outlined above.

To answer the last question, what would I tell the pastor if I was on staff at the church, I would tell him my option discussed above. Sometimes in churches we like to play along with things as if arguments or disagreements should not happen with the church, as if we should just go along with what our boss or pastor says because after all he is the pastor. The Church needs to be place where we can discuss, in a loving way, our disagreements. After all that is what Paul did when he confronted Peter and James over the issue of Gentile and Jewish relations detailed in Acts and Galatians. If it came to the point where the pastor and myself strongly disagreed and we could not work it out and I was forced to leave the church because of it then at least I stood my ground because if I didn’t I would be giving up on one of my strongest convictions, that we have to be very careful when the sphere of the church and the sphere of commerce emerge together.

The Theology of the Indie Rock Scene

2007-04-11T14:00:00.000-07:00

There is almost on other feeling in the world. You have been standing, or sitting depending on the venue, for what feels like hours, yet you don’t leave because something inside of you is keeping you their. Then all of a sudden the lights go out, everyone in the room quiets down. If you listen hard enough from the back of the stage your hear something. As it comes into focus the words ring out as if they are the clearest thing you have ever hear, “Run, Devil run. Run, Devil run.” The words are chanted over and over again getting louder and louder as three figures approach the stage. They continue to sing as the rest of the band joins them on stage, one by one picking up each of their instruments. Then nothing the band stands on stage quiet. The only thing you can hear is the random screams of “yeah!” from the crowd. Then, at what seems at the prefect time Jenny Lewis, the lead signer, strums her guitar and the experience beings.
While not all indie rock concerts begin like a Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins shows and bands all do have very similar details that make them quit similar to Biblical figures and stories. For one by it’s own definition indie music comes from the margins of pop culture. Indie music also is speaking prophetically into the wider culture of the world, like my Biblical prophets of old. While some might argue this is not the case for all indie bands, and I would not disagree, there are many indie bands where this is the case. Take for instance bands that are leading the way in the indie music scene such as Manchester Orchestra, Pedro the Lion, mewithoutYou, Bright Eyes, Cursive and the band motioned above Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins.
Indie music falls in long lines of great musical movements that have come from the margins such as Jazz, Rap and Punk. Yet, unlike these music genres indie music takes many different musical forms and styles. Somehow dispite the diversity of sounds indie music has created a community of individuals much like that of early movements in the Jazz, Rap and Punk scenes. Take the band Broken Social Scene for instance. This is a band made up of different musicians, all from different music genres, who come together to tour and play music just because of their love for the music and their common social bound.
We though live in an interesting time in music history, because of the rise of music down loading, web sites like myspace.com and purevolume.com, individuals search for something deeper than pop music brings and societies over stimulation of media; the indie music scene is finding itself growing in leaps and bounds. As the growth of indie music communities continue to grow, musicians from around the nation are joining together just to play music they love and music that challenges the norm.
Jazz, Rap and Punk not only find their musical roots from the margins but have historically been partnered with social movements. Yet unlike the urban start of many marginal musical movements indie music comes from suburban areas of our nation. Other than the love music another thing that brings indie musicians and participants together as a community is their stance against the norm of pop culture and the injustice of the world. Members of the indie music scene believe that there are more important things in the world going on. Therefore they look behond their selves, their views on sex, drugs, or religion and join together to fight a common enemy. Indie music has created a community of bands and individuals who are declaring, we are unsatisfied with the norm of society and are working to change things. While all of many indie bands like Bright Eyes and Cursive might be creating social noise and doing little to back it up in practice. There are bands such as mewithoutYou who are leading the way for all indie bands in the scene. Many members of the band mewithoutYou are apart of social organizations that working for social change such as mewithoutYou’s singer Aaron who is apart of the Simple Way Community. By participating in not only prophetic enouncement but social organizations mewithoutYou is declaring, don’t only sing about the social issues of the world but work to change those issues.
As indie communities and bands around the world come together they are marching to a different drum. A drum whos beats sound familiar to those of the early church. Stand against the norm, declare the coming of something different, hear our words because they are important and do not stand in our way because we are about something larger than the America dollar.

Christian College Community

2007-04-04T17:40:00.000-07:00

It has been almost two years since I graduated from Azusa Pacific University where I did my undergraduate work. I will never forget that day because I don’t think their will ever be another such day in my life. There I sat in a crowd of people, of which some I would call friends while other acquaintances, knowing these times might be the last few moments in my life that I would be “doing life with” this group of people.

It was six years ago when I shown up on the APU’s campus on moving day. The campus was filled with screaming college students ready to welcome me to my new “home”, crying parents, local business vying for my dollars which they hoped I would give them over next couple of years, and new college freshman and transfers who were filled with so many emotions and thoughts that they could not hope to articulate in one coherent sentence. The one thing that still stands out to me about that day was that no matter where I went everyone was friendly, welcoming me to my new community.

As the weekend festivities ended and college went on as I guess colleges does, I started to establish a core group of friends that I hung out with weekly. We ate together, went to shows together, ran around in short shorts soaking wet in 45 degree whether together, had conversations about life until 4 in the morning together, put a large “BLACK OUT” shirt on the BIOLA Jesus together, suffered through finals weeks together, and just did life together for four years. I lament that their will probably be on other time in my life that I will live in community as I did during my undergrad college years. The structure of our current society doesn’t make community living as easily as I would hope because our society has become way to individualistic and privatized.

This is not right! As humans we have been created to live in community with each other. If we can declare that we are made in God’s image, and that God exists as a divine community than we must declare as God’s image that we are created exist in community with one another.

Christian college community was all nice and good and I have to admit there was something special about living in a community with people that are experiencing similar things as you are, it still creates a false image of Biblical community. Biblical community should look more multi-generational then a Christian college community usually does. As Christians we should not take forsake the biblical model of multi-generational community for what might seem easier or more convenient for us. We need to be community with those who have experienced what we have not, where we can pour into the lives of our youth and children, and where we can sit and hear the stories of our elderly. We need to be in a community were multi-generations can live together and truly be a picture of our savior to the world around us.

As I said above, it has been two year since all of my college friends went our separate ways and while I still talk with some and live with others, my group of friends, that I did life together with during college is gone. I still hope that one day I might live in a community like I did in college, yet hopefully this time it will look a lot more like Biblical community then it did was I was in college.

The last 11 Weeks

2007-03-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I have come to the end of another quarter. This was probably the busiest quarters that I have had a Fuller. I not only was taking 10 units this quarter but the reading and projects for my classes required a lot of extra time. For my Youth Outreach and Evangelism class I had to do 20 hours of observation of youth in a secular area. The youth had to be non-church students. After the 20 hours of observation I then had to lead 2, 30 minute focus groups in order to find out their thought on their family, school, friends, and what they did during their free time. For my Ethics class, Discipleship in a Secular Society, I had to read like 1,400 pages of reading in 10 weeks plus do 5 hours of outside volunteer work, which I did at Harambee Ministries.

Other than taking classes I was busy with at my church. Noah, one of our volunteer leaders, and I started a senior guys Bible study. I feel that the Bible study is going very well. Other than that, church stuff has been crazy with our Mammoth Winter Trip and other drama that will go unmentioned for the online audience. Three weeks ago we started our new sermon serious in which we will be going through the Sermon on the Mount. Janelle and I are very excited to go through all of the great topics and will come up as we go through this serious. We both feel that this serious of messages will help to bring new prospectives to our students as well as help to shape them as they seek to discover what this journey with God is all about. Finally, last Saturday I went with other members of Baseline, the church I am apart of, to a seminar at Fuller. Basline was one of 17 churches invited this all day conference on "Multi-Generational Ministry." I am very excited to see how Baseline starts to implement what we learned this weekend. Over all, I feel that these last 11 weeks have been really amazing. God has been and is doing incredible things in the students lives.

On a more personal level, life has been going well. I have learned a lot in the last few weeks, which can be both good and frustrating. This is definitely a time of preparation in my life. I know that in the next couple of months I will have to make some decisions that will affect my life greatly in the next couple of coming years. I pray that God gives me grace and guidance for I have no other idea how I will be able to make these decisions.

I know I haven't posted as much as I would have liked to over the last few weeks. Hopefully over the next couple days I hope to post more of my thoughts as I process a lot of what has been going through my mind as of late. The two posts that follow below are sections of two papers I wrote this quarter. I just wanted to post them to put them out there. I feel they reveal important information and I also just wanted to see what people thought of my ideas. I hope all you my friends are doing well, may God bless you as you are a blessing to others.

2007-03-19T16:13:00.000-07:00

Youth Research Paper ( I didn't edit this version very well so sorry for any errors)
Introduction
At 2 in the morning last night I just laid there, not because I was still excited at my win in an amazing game of H.O.R.S.E. with my roommates, on our houses’ in door basketball hoop. I wasn’t laying their reflecting on an rifting theological conversation that I had just had with my friends over some drinks. I was laying their because I was broken. As I lay there with my eyes closed, my mind drifted off. I started to think about the students at ___________, the sight of my Outreach project. Over the last ten weeks I have been substituting at _____________ Yet this time I wasn’t there just for the money I need to pay my bills. I was there because for the first time since I had started substituting there, I had to start to pay attention to what was really going on in the lives of the students at __________. Why? Because I had to for class, not because I wanted to or I thought it would be a good idea, being that I want to work with students. No, what made me do it was a project for a class. That’s what brought me to this point, a project for a class!
When I started this process I did not know what to expect, yet I never thought that at the end of this project I would feel so hopeless. This is the kind of hopelessness where you feel like no matter what you do you can’t do enough. It is the kind of hopelessness that brings you to tears just at the thought of students that are abandoned by there parents, teachers and any other adults that they might interact with during their day. It was with these thoughts that I lay awake, for how long I don’t really know, who does at times like this. I must have fallen asleep at some point because I awoke this morning, as I do every morning. Now I sit here trying to think about what it might mean to reach out these students. To share with them not only Christ’s love for them but my life, in hopes that I might enter their world as Christ entered this world, and love them as Christ loves them. Maybe then, and only then, will God use me to touch the students at __________________.
Observation
My First four Weeks (week 2 through 6 of the quarter)
I started my observation in the third week of January, exact date is unknown. For the first three weeks my observation was strictly in class or while walking around school to and from classes, lunch, arriving or leaving school. I had not really subbed at this school prior to this assignment, so my goal during the couple weeks was to be seen by the students in a normal substitute type setting. I did not want to move into their space to quickly. I subbed at their school about three times a week during these first four weeks.
Week Five to Nine (weeks 7 through 10 of the quarter)
Starting in week five I started to walk around at lunch. In the fifth week I ate half of my lunch solo and then walked around the campus eating as I walked. I soon transitioned to eating my whole lunch while out and about at lunch time. I would sit at different places during lunch and then walk around when I was done with my lunch I started talking to some students I had meet during class time. During this time I was still working at the school about 3 days a week.
Focus Groups
1st Focus Group
I set up my first focus group over March 2nd, 2007 during lunch. I asked a student that I had established a good relationship, on February 27th, 2007, if she would want to help me out with a project for one of my class. When I told her that I was doing the project to learn about whom high school students were, what they went through, and what they thought about things like school, friends, parents and what they did on the weekend. She was very willing and happy to help me out.
On March 2nd, 2007 I walked over to where she normally hung out at and she had 5 students there and ready to be interviewed by me. As we were walking toward the hall, where we did the interview, she got 3 other students to join the group. I opened up and told the students what I had told the girl a few days before and that they could as open with me as they wished. I told them that I would not tell anyone what they told me, unless it involved them hurting themselves, them hurting others or if it was about someone that was hurting them. From that point they were very open with me about everything, and also very excited to be doing the project. In this group I had 5 guys and 3 girls. The group lasted the whole lunch time, which is a half and hour.
2nd Focus Group
The second focus group was set up by another student that I met in one of my classes. This group was a little more random then the first one. I had been playing phone tag with the student for a week and we couldn’t find a time to meet and do the group. So, I decided to show up On March 6th, 2007 during lunch time and find the student who I had asked to set up the group for me. The student could not really find anyone to do the group with us so it ended up four students: two guys and two girls. Half way through the group a random girl came by and became a part of the group, so then we had five students total.
Questions
Since we are at school, let’s start there. What do you guys think about school?
Do you guys have a favorite teacher? If so why is he or she your favorite teacher?
What do you think are most important things to your parents?
Do you think your parents want the best for you?
Describe your group of friends to me?
Are you guys all good friends?
If you were to get in trouble and needed help who would you call or turn to, why?
Do you trust your best friends more then your teachers?
What do you guys do during the weekend?
Where do you guys hang out during the weekend?
Do you guys hang out anywhere other then your friends houses?
What else do you guys do in your free time?
Why do you guys drink and do drugs?
Do you only do drugs with your friends?
When did you guys start using drugs?
What do you guys usually do to get away from the stress of life?
If you could tell your parents and your teachers one thing what would that be?
Conclusions
The Classroom
Students in 9th grade and 10th grade were more open to trust adults than the 11th and 12th grade students were. In college prep classes students knew what they were suppose to do and did it. You could tell that they felt they knew what they needed to do in order succeed in the school system they found themselves in. The disabilities classes were less trustworthy of adults unless the adult was friendly to them. When the adult was friendly to them, they seem to open up more than other students. The older the student was the less they would interact with me, even if I engaged them first. In classes that were mixed grade levels you could usually tell what grade the students were in by how they reacted to adults.
Student/Teacher
Students felt that teachers do not understand who they are, respect them or care to find out who students really are. One student told me, “they (teachers) don’t think about what is good for us but just what is good for them.” Students feel like if they have a hard time succeeding in a class that the teachers put the blame on them. Student believe that if they are failing in classes it is the teachers fault for not helping out the student, not their fault. “How do they expect me to learn,” one student said, “if all they do is yell at me.” “Yea, like my math teacher,” another student said, “all he does is put the work on the board and expects me to get what they hell he is writing.” “Teachers are just there to get a pay check,” vented another student.
Most students that I observed or talked to said that they would like it more if the teacher was “real with them,” meaning that the teacher somehow becomes more than just a robot teaching a lesion everyday. The students want someone how tries to relate to them, who respects who they are and their differences. A girl I was talking to said that she likes one of her teachers because, “she is young cool and knows what is going on. She tells us what she did during the weekend, if feel like I connect with her.”
Lunch Time
I found it interesting that students would move away from where I was at or turn away from me when talking with their friends. Students that I had, had in class were more open to me sitting by them but seemed to find it weird that I was eating by myself sometimes. This is when I started talking to the students around me; it just seemed to be more natural. During conversations, where I was present with students, students would start a conversation with their friends about a topic but if the topic started to get to personal or to a point that they felt uncomfortable saying around me they would look me up and down, trying to sense something about me, or just strait up ask me if I was a sub. I would reply yes I am a sub, and try to let them know that I was cool, this means that I was trustworthy in a students mind. After students found out who I was, some would go on with their conversations and others would just change the subject. Students were uncomfortable with me being in their space if they could not feel they could trust me.
Music
It seems like every student has an ipod or some sort of mp3 player with them at all times. When students feel uncomfortable or know on one in the class, they put in their mp3 player and just drift away into music land. Students feel that music helps them relax and “escape” for their current situation. Music becomes a way for students to get away from everything else that is going on in their lives. “I just relate to the music,” one student said. Since they feel that almost no one can relate to them, music becomes their passage way into a land where people understand them, their problems and what they go through.
Parents
Students don’t know if their parents or guardians want the best for them in life. One student said, “They (parents) just don’t want me to be their responsibility anymore.” “Yea,” another student jumped in, “maybe my parents should have worn a condom.” For students how much their parents care for them is more about how were they rank on their parents list of important stuff. Students compare their importance to their parents along with the importance of money, their boyfriend or girlfriend, the house, work, and paying the bills. To students the way that their parents show they care for them is by keeping them off drugs, in school, home on time, or away from sex. Student believe that parent create rules because they don’t trust their own children. Over all students don’t feel like their parents understand them. “My mom was never a teenager,” one girl said, responding to the fact that she feels her mom doesn’t understand what she goes through. When students don’t feel that their parents trust them it seems to make students want to act out more to prove their parents right. Many students I talked to suffered through their parents divorces. They now feel that they are fought over for their parents love. “I like that my parents are divorced,” one student said, “I get money from my mom, I get two birthday presents, I get more stuff.”
Adults/ Student relationships (other than teachers or parents)
“A lot of older people just stereotype us,” a girl I talked too said. Students don’t think that any adults really understand them or even want to understand them. When I told my focus groups that I was doing this project in order to understand high schoolers more they were excited that I would want to find out who high school students really are. “I wish I could tell adults how I feel inside and about the world around me,” one student said. Students feel that adults don’t want to understand high schoolers today. Therefore, students don’t feel that they can trust them. Student are weary to let adults into their lives because they feel that they can’t be themselves around adults.
Substance Use
Drug and alcohol has become the social thing to do. For many students’ drug or alcohol use is a weekly activity. They usually do these activities in groups of friends at someone’s house. “We do it to have good time,” one student said, “it not like we are depressed and that is how we get it out.” Student say that they do it because they are bored and have nothing else to do. “It (drugs and alcohol) brings us closer to our friends,” one student said. When student do these activities they feel that they become closer and more excepted by their group of friends. For many students the times they were “wasted” brings memorizes of funny stories and good times, furthering their bonds of friendship. In fact many students said that they started doing drugs or drinking alcohol when they were asked to by either older brothers or sisters or when they were talked into it by friends. No students I talked to started using drugs just on their own, it was always a matter of fitting in with others.
Friend Group
Students during classroom time would act differently in each class depending on who was in the class and how the structure of the class was set up. The more people they knew in the classroom the more they talked. The people they talked to in the class were of the same self-concept level or close to their self-concept level. It was very rare to see them talk to someone, even if they sat next to each other if they were not in the same self-concept level.
During lunch time students would always hang out in the same groups. These groups where based loosely on grade level, race, socio-economic status, language, and interests. Yet, most of their group make up depended on their self-concept level. Most groups seemed too made up 3 to 4 smaller groups of students, or clusters. Some members of clusters would talk to other members of other clusters but not all members of one cluster would talk to all of the members of another cluster. You could usually tell as cluster because it was group of about 4 to 7 students that rarely left one another’s’ side. There was also what I will call floater students. Floater students walk around solo from group to group not really staying in one group for all of lunch.
For some students, friendship is the closest thing they have to safety the feel they have. This is why I believe students have formed smaller groups or clusters, were they feel they can protect themselves. The students I interviewed all said that they feel like they can trust their friends more than they can their teachers or parents. Even though students form clusters; they only have a few close friends that they let see who they really are, if that. “I don’t talk to anyone when I am in trouble or need help,” one girl said, “I just keep it all inside, that is just easier for me.” Another student said that if he needs to talk with someone that he would go to the Internet and talk to friends over the Internet, he feels that it is saver that way. The most important trait that students want in friends is understanding and trustworthiness.
Student Dating
When there is a couple among a group of students, they usually stand off to the side of the group the larger group they were apart of. They are attacked to each to other throughout their time together through hugging and kissing. These students rarely talking to their students around them. Usually the couples’ friends liked or did not like that the couple was together. I could not tell why this was.
Sex/Sexuality
Sex is a semi-open topic for the students. Sexual acts are referred to in everyday conversation but sex between two members as a couple is taboo in open conversation. After the couple has broken up the sexual relationship of the couple is now fare game in conversation. Girls I are degraded to sexual hopes or “sexual conquests” which guys use to elevate their own selves egos.
Ethics
Lying is an everyday activity to survive throughout the day. Students have no problem cheating on tests, homework or class work, whatever they can do to get it done. A student will lie to you strait in your face without even thinking twice. Most unethical decisions are done to protect themselves or other students. One of worst things you can do it to turn in or rat on another student to an adult. There was one instant where I was substituting and two students walked out of the classroom 10 minutes before the bell rang. I did not know who the students were so I asked other members in their class to tell me who they were. The students would not tell me who they where unless I threatened them in some way with punishment. This example shows that students will go to any extent to protect there fellow peers.

2007-03-19T16:11:00.001-07:00

The Ethics of the United States Juvenile System
Introduction
Duc is a 16 year old Asian-American teen who grew up an underprivileged neighborhood growing up. When Duc reached high school, daily gang members came up to him daily asking him to be apart of their gang, he refused. One day, like many teens his age, Duc was driving some of his friends in their neighborhood: things take a turn for the worst and Duc’s friend has a gun pointed outside the car window. This person fired four shots, luckily hitting no one. Even with no prior arrests or marks on his record, Duc was arrested, tried as an adult and found guilty of first degree attempted murder.[1]
Today in the United States there are weekly cases just like Duc’s. Even though the United States Juvie system was created to keep youth out of adult jails, today it incarcerates thousands of youth in adult jails. Citizens of the United States are made to believe something has gone terribly wrong with our youth today. Daily the media produces images and stories of youth who have robbed, raped or killed innocent victims. Despite the media’s depiction of youth crime, it has dropped 41% in the last few years. [2] Yet, stricter laws are being created to put youth behind bars and keep them there.
There is an injustice to the system of youth crime and “Juvies.” There is now psychological, neurological, and sociological evidence that suggests that adolescences should not be allowed to be tried as adults, yet they are today. While nay-sayers believe the evidence is not conclusive enough to change United States laws, the research continues to pour in and prove them wrong. It is in times like this that we need prophets to stand up and change this system of injustice, to set an oppressed people free.
Adolescence
The emergence of adolescence in the late nineteenth century Western culture, has caused adolescence to be a topic of much conversation and research.[3] At the top of this list is the moral development of adolescents. Psychologists and sociologists alike have been intrigued by this mind-boggling, ever-changing, period of time in a person’s life. In 1908 Arnold van Gennep called this process, which we now know as adolescence, “rite of passage.” Gennep suggested there are three important elements to this “right of passage:” separation from the old status, transition, and incorporation into the adult community.[4] The process of a child transitioning into the adult community is now referred to as individuation; when a person’s idea of their identity, autonomy, and belonging are formed.
Since its emergence adolescence has lengthened from lasting from age 14 to 18, to as many as 12 plus years, from ages 11or 12 to 24 plus. The lengthening of adolescence is because psychologists believe adolescence begins in puberty and ends in one’s culture context.[5] With the growth of adolescence, scientists noticed three stages of adolescence emerging in the early 1990s; these stages are called Early-Adolescence 11 to 14, Middle-Adolescence 15 to 19, and Late Adolescence 19 to 25. With the emergence of these new stages of adolescences came a new characteristic of these stages of life. During these stages of life adolescence are characterized different by their cognitive development. Early Adolescence is characterized by concrete thinking meaning that they care just about themselves. Middle Adolescence is characterized by ego-centric abstraction, realizing that they affect others but do not care. Late-Adolescents is characterized by abstract thought, realizing that the “I” and “thou” exist and they care about the “I” “thou” relationship.[6]
Adolescent Brain Development
Research on adolescent brain development is relatively new. In 1962 Hubel and Wiesle and in 1992 Kuhl, Williams, Lacerda and Stevens showed sensory regions of the brain go through development in the early stages of human life and that it is unlikely that the human brain might continue to undergo change after early childhood.[7] It was not until the 1970s and 1980s that studies stared to suggest the human brains might continue to develop in the prefrontal cortex into adolescents.[8]
Two changes revealed in the human brain before and during adolescence; as neurons develop there is a layer of myelin that is formed around their extension from the supporting glial cells. Myelin acts as an insulator, increasing the speed of transmission of electrical impulses from neuron to neuron 100 fold. The sensory and motor skills region of the brain become fully myelinated during the first few years of life, yet while the brain tissue volume remains stable; axons in the frontal cortex continue to be myelinated into adolescence. The studies suggest that transmission speed of neural information in the frontal cortex increases throughout childhood and adolescence.[9]
The second difference in the brain of pre-pubescent children and adolescents suggests changes in synaptic density in the prefrontal cortex. During development, the intricate network of connections between neurons significantly changes. Peaks of synaptic density followed by periods of synaptic elimination or pruning happen. During this process connections are strengthened and infrequent connections are eliminated, based on experience. During adolescence this pruning occurs mostly in the frontal lobes. The brain does this in order to fine-tune its functional networks enabling remaining synaptic circuits to be more efficient.[10]
The invention of Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) allowed for scientists to create 3-D images of the brain, permitting them to further study the human brain during people’s lifetimes. Studies have since begin in which scientists have studied individuals throughout their childhood and adolescent development. One such study is underway by Dr. Jay Giedd, Chief of Brain Imaging in the Child Psychiatry Branch of the National Institute of Mental Health. Giedd has spent the past 13 years studying 1,800 children’s and adolescents brains through the use of the MRI. Giedd has build a record of brain development within children and adolescents enrolled in his study, following youth up to the age of 25.
Giedd’s study has helped to prove early brain research studies, like the ones discussed above. Giedd has found that between the ages of 6 and 12, the neurons grow outward connecting to other neurons and creating new pathways for nerve signals. With this growth the gray matter in the frontal lobe of the brain increases. The gray matter of the frontal region of the brain peaks in girls at approximately age 11 and in boys around 12 ½.[11] After peaking the frontal gray matter becomes thinned out at a rate of 1% per year until the early 20’s.[12] At the same time the white matter of the frontal lobe of the brain thickens. White matter is comprised of myelin sheaths that enclose axons. During this process the human brain as mentioned above, prunes away unneeded mass, while making existing connections quicker and more efficient.[13] Ruben Gur of the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia suggests that until this process is complete the frontal lobe of the brain is not fully developed.[14]
Gur states, “The frontal lobe of the brain controls the impulses coming from other parts of the brain…if you’ve been insulted, your emotional brain says, ‘kill,’ but your frontal lobe says you’re in the middle of a cocktail party, so let’s respond with a cutting remark.”[15] Studies suggest the frontal lobe of the brain is responsible for functions such as self-control, judgment, emotions, and organization.[16] This is one reason adolescents do not understand conceptual argument that seem logical to adults. Another study by Beckman, came to the same conclusion as Gur did. Beckman concluded that the prefrontal cortex didn’t blaze in teens as it did in adults, suggesting the brain regions that process emotions and risk awareness are not fully developed in adolescents. This suggests that adolescents are more prone to erratic behavior than adults are.[17] An article titled, “Teen Brains on Trial,” by Bruce Bower states that “the last part of the brain that develops is the prefrontal cortex, where planning setting priorities, organizing thoughts, suppressing impulses, and weighing consequences…” occur.[18]
As the brain matures it slowly reorganizes how it integrates information coming from differing regions. As the brain develops it switches from relying heavily on local regions in childhood, to distributing and collaborating its interactions among distant regions of the brain in adulthood.[19] Studies suggest that because adolescents cannot use the frontal lobe of their brain, because is not fully developed, the body copes by using other parts of the brain. For instance, when processing emotions adolescents rely heavily more on the amygdala, a structure located in the temporal lobes which processes emotions and gut reactions; while adults rely less on the amygdala and more on the frontal lobe.
Despite all the research and findings that prove adolescent brains do not allow adolescents to make decisions that adults can many psychologists like Harvard University’s Jerome Kagan, as well as other professionals, still believes there is not enough evidence to change existing legislation that allows for adolescents to be tried as adults. While Kagan confesses this is a matter of ethics, he believes something about an adolescent’s cultural context must be critical. While Kagan makes a good argument, their must be some reasons why some adolescents can control their acts without a fully developed frontal lobe; Kagan is naïve to reject a change in legislation because the role that ones’ cultural context might play a role in their ability to make decisions. Research shows it is obvious that brain development plays a large enough role to make some waves toward legislation reform yet, for argument’s sake social context and moral development must also be considered.
Moral Formation in Adolescents
Development of each individual is an essential process. As a person develops through childhood and adolescence there are events, relationships, and decisions that can affect the development. During adolescence one goes through the process of individuation. Chap Clark, who is associate professor of youth, family and culture at Fuller Theological Seminary, suggests that one does not pass through adolescence until one become individuated.[20] It is during this process of individuation that one’s morals become joined to who they are as an individual.
Daniel Hart of Rutgers University and Gustavo Carle of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln suggest in their study entitled “Moral Development in Adolescence” that moral life develops during adolescence more than it does during the rest of childhood.[21] Bernard Williams believes that when forming ones moral philosophy, one seeks to answer three questions: What is the right thing to do? What is the best possible state of affairs achieved? What qualities make for a good person?[22] These questions are tied to a person’s beliefs, attitudes, and values.
Clark argues that it is ones beliefs, attitudes and values that influence an individual’s Practical Conscience.[23] This level of consciousness is responsible for decisions made through mapping. The human brain maps certain decisions unconsciously, when these same decisions are made again your brain automatically goes to your previous mapped decision. If one’s belief, attitudes and values are altered then ones morals are changed and therefore so are one’s conscious decisions. Yet, as Kagan suggest, since one’s believes, attitudes, and values are tied to the social and cultural context of an individual then one’s social context has to affect their moral development as Kagan suggests.
Social Context and Moral Development in Adolescents
The sociological state of adolescent today is totally different then the sociological state of adolescents 20 years ago, when many adults who create legislation were adolescents. Clark conducted one of the largest direct studies of mid-adolescents in the history of the United States; after conducting this study he detailed his finding in a book called, Hurt: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers. Chap suggests that today’s adolescents have been systemically abandoned by adults in today’s world. He states, adolescent “abandonment has created an environment in which Mid-Adolescents believe that they are on their own; they pull away from the adult world.”[24] The result of this is that youth all over the world have created their own system of safety mechanism which he calls “the world beneath,” in order to get themselves through adolescence the best they can. Clark believes that there are three major issues related to “the world beneath;” first, adolescents naturally believe they have no other choice but to create their own world to survive. Secondly, because Mid-Adolescents are emotionally and relationally starved, the most important thing they need is a relationally-focused home. Thirdly, Mid-Adolescents have the ability to band together in a way that satisfies their longing for relationships with others as they try to navigate through adolescents.[25]
David Elkind believes, like Clark, that something is desperately wrong with our youth and family structure today. Elkind believes that our culture and family systems have ”stressed out” our youth. We have not been devoted to meeting the needs our youth today because of the world we have created for our children and adolescents is ruled by consumerism, busyness and neglect. Even our families have become “stressed,” stuck in a circular parade of issues that are created by culture and are creating our culture. Our own culture is making it harder for us to recover from our current state. [26]
Urban areas of our country are in an even worse state. Elijah Anderson, the Charles and William L. Day Professor of the Social Sciences at the University of Pennsylvania, believes the state of our urban areas have become so bad because of the systemic depravity of individuals who live in urban area receive. They exist in a state of their own law, which he calls, “the code of the street.” This systemic depravity is created by racism, consumerism, capitalism, and the selfishness of our current culture. It is by the “code of the streets” that individuals govern themselves and allow themselves to be governed.[27] This “code” is so dominating that individuals in urban areas have convinced themselves they cannot escape it. The individuals that do believe they can escape believe they have to do so by their own “boot straps.”
The findings of Clark, Elkind, and Anderson all agree the one thing that youth today need to get out of these current situations are adults. In a study on adolescent development Laurence Steinber of Temple University and Amanda Sheffield Morris of Arizona State University find that adolescents with supportive families are more socially competent and have more positive friendships. This same research also shows that adolescents with less supportive families are influenced more by peers, especially during Mid-Adolescence.[28]
Contrary to studies such as these, things are not getting any better. Kagan was accurate; something in our adolescents’ cultural context is affecting their development. Our adolescents are in the worst state then they have ever been. Yet, like brain research, studies on adolescent sociology and adolescent cultural context have not affected how our legal system approaches crime and adolescents. Adolescents are still being tried as adults, furthering our systemic abandonment of adolescents. It is clear this treatment of adolescence is ethical wrong.
The Church’s Response
There is something ethically wrong about the way the legal system trying adolescents as adults. Despite all of the brain and sociological research proving that trying adolescents as adults is unethical, little change has occurred. The people of this country and the church within the U.S. have just stood by watching, or not caring enough of listen. This needs to change, especially within the U.S. church. When looking at the life of Jesus we can see a person who stood up against the systems of injustice. Jesus came to proclaim a message of freedom saying, “[God] has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free (Luke 4:18).”
The Church should take the role that Jesus did, proclaiming the “good news” of freedom. In times like these, I am reminded of Israel during the time of Amos. Through the prophet Amos God declared, “…you have turned justice into poison and the fruit of righteousness into wormwood (Amos 6: 12).” Again the prophet proclaims, “Hear this, you that trample on the needy, and bring to ruin the poor of the land (Amos 8:4).”
Conclusion
In this land, during this time, we have “turned justice into poison.” We “trample on the needy, and bring to ruin the poor of the land.” In this system we have created, it is our adolescents that we have made the poor and the oppressed. It is an injustice that we are trying those who we shouldn’t as adults; life-imprisonment for nothing more than driving a friend down the street. Adolescents are not in a developmental or sociological place where this is practical. We have not only systemically abandoned them but we now mistreat those in need. Nothing will change in this system unless someone stands up. We as the church must become like the prophets of old. We must hear the word of God and stand against injustice that tries to encircle us. It is not only our duty to be these prophets, it is our calling.
[1] Neale, Leslie. Written and Director. Densmore, John & Wahlberg, Mark. Executive Producers. Director. Juvies: What Some Kids Face Behind Bars is a Crime, 2004 Chance Films
[2] (Neale, Juvies, 2004)
[3]Clark, Chap. Hurt: Inside the World Of Today’s Teenagers. (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2004), 25.
[4] (Clark 2004, 26)
[5] Dean, Kendra and others. ed., Starting Right: Thinking Theological About Youth Ministry. (Grand Rapids, Minchigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 2001,)45.
[6] Clark, Chap, Intro to Youth Ministry at Fuller Theological Seminary, Pasadena, Ca., October, 2006,
[7] Blakemore, Sarah-Jayne and Choudhury, Suparna. “Development of the Adolescent Brain: Implications for Executive Function and Social Cognition.” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry (2006), 47:3/4
[8] (Blakemore 2006, 296) Studies done by Huttenlocher, 1979; Huttenlocher, De Courten, garey & Van Der Loos, 1983; Yakovlev & Lecours, 1967
[9] (Blakemore 2006, 296) studies done by Yakovlev & Lecours, 1967
[10] (Blakemore 2006, 297) ( Huttenlocher, 1979; Bourgeosi, Goldman-Rakic, & Rakic, 1994; Woo, Pucak, Kye, Matus, & Lewis, 1997; Zecevic & Rakic, 2001)
[11] Alice, Claudia, Park, Wallis. “What Makes Teens Ticks.” Time, Vol. 163, Issue 19.
[12] Beckman, Mary. “Crime, Culpability, and the Adolescent Brain.” ScienceMagazine.org, Vol. 305, Issue 5684. July 30, 2004.
[13] (Alice, Claudia, Park, Wallis)
[14] (Beckman 2004)
[15] (Beckman 2004)
[16] Unknown Author. “Adolescent Brain.” Youth Studies Australia (2003) Vol. 22 Number 1
[17] (Beckman 2004)
[18] Bower, Bruce. “Teen Brains on Trail.” Science News, Vol. 165, Issue 19.
[19] (Beckmand 2004)
[20] (Dean. ed, 2001, 55)
[21] Carlo, Gustavo and Hart, Daniel. “Moral Development in Adolescence.” Journal of Research Adolescence (2005), 15(3), 223-233
[22] (Carlo 2005)
[23] Clark, Chap, “Strategies of Youth Outreach” at Fuller Theological Seminary, Pasadena, Ca., February 5, 2007,
[24] Chap Clark, 54
[25] Chap Clark, 59-60
[26] Elkind, David. Ties That Stress: The New Family Imbalance. (Cambridge, Massachusetts, Harvard University Press, 1994)

[27] Anderson, Elijiah. Code of the Street: Decency, Violence and the Moral Life of the Inner City. (New York, 1999)
[28] Morris, Amanda Sheffield and Steinberg, Laurence. “Adolescent Development.” Annul Review Psychology (2001), 52:83-110

My review of the media of 2006

2007-01-24T21:52:00.000-08:00

I posted a couple times on my myspace page but I thought that this would make it more offical. So here it is.... view and enjoy.

Top 10 My Favorite CD’s of 2006

The Format – Dog Problems
Copeland – Eat, Sleep, Repeat
MewithoutYou – Brother, Sister
Jeremy Enigk – World Waits
Damien Rice – 9
Brand New – God and the Devil Are Raging Inside Me
Underoath – Define the Great Line
Anathalo – Floating World
Saves the Day – Sound the Alarm
The Appleseed Cast – Peregrine

Honorable Mention of 2006
Destroy the Runner – Saints
Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins – Rabbit Fur Coat
Moneen – Red Tree

Top EPs of 2006
Sherwood – Summer EP
Lakes – Photographs EP
The Soft Civil War – Everything Absent or Distorted (a love story)

Top 5 Best Live Performances of 2006
Bright Eyes – The Glasshouse
Jenny Lewis and Twins - The Glasshouse
Anathalo – The Chain Reaction
Copeland – The El Rey
The Appleseed Cast – The El Rey

Biggest Let Downs of 2006
Brandston – Sound the Alarm
He is Legend – Such Out the Poison
Pretty Girls Make Graves – Elan Vital
Thursday – A City by the Light Divided

Best Band/Artist Finds of 2006
Broken Social Scene
Anathalo
Talib Kweli
Feist

Most Anticipated for 2007
Thrice – The Elements
Rilo Kiley – Unknown
Bloc Party – A Weekend in the City
Bright Eyes – Cassadaga
Dear and the Headlights – Small Steps Heavy Hooves
Sherwood – A Different Light
Kanye West – Unknown
The Chariot – The Fiancee
As I Lay Dying – Unknown
Panic At the Disco – Unknown

CD’s Hoped for in 2007 but unannounced
Postal Service
Tailb Kweli
Broken Social Scene
Sufjan Stevens

Why I decide to blog?

2007-01-24T21:36:00.000-08:00

Well I was sitting at a coffee shop the other day and I started thinking...maybe I should start a blog? So I did. Why? Well...first of all I need to write more in order to improve my writing skills and I hope that this will help do that, while being a good medium to get my thoughts out there for hopefully at least for some to hear. Secondly my sister is moving to South Korea and many of my friends, since college ended, have moved to the far reaches of the world and I thought that this would be a good way for us to keep in a little better communication. Thirdly my roommate Tim has been bugging me to start a blog for the last few months. So, here is my blog! I hope it some how accomplishes all the things above while somehow helping to further the Kingdom of God in best way I guess a blog can.